About meanie_monday : I'm awesome :D
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to the water park, and got in a line on a staircase to get on a waterslide. A couple minutes in, I feel a large amount of warm liquid drip on my head. Seconds later, a crying girl was being lead down the stairs being told that 'everyone wets themselves sometimes'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44456) - you deserved it (1560)
On 07/12/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, it was my wedding day. I had my butt clenched during the ceremony. I was giving my husband the ring, but dropped it. When I went to retrieve it, I let a huge one ripe. My husband yelled "she likes to eat beans." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48046) - you deserved it (7509)
On 07/11/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by 1234 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37882) - you deserved it (4607)
On 07/11/2009 at 5:10am - work - by grannysmack (woman) - United States (Iowa)
Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51932) - you deserved it (2927)
On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41923) - you deserved it (1422)
On 07/08/2009 at 1:51pm - animals - by coral (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, at work, a woman came up to the counter and asked if we made sweet and sour chicken. Before I could answer, she told me a really long recipe and said "I expect to see this on the menu next time I come in, or I will complain to the manager about your lousy work ethic". I work at Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59860) - you deserved it (2744)
On 07/05/2009 at 1:21am - work - by Barista (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my boss told me he is a superhero. He has written countless comics about his crusades and adventures. I make fifty dollars an hour less than him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31280) - you deserved it (2798)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:53am - money - by iloveZELOS (woman) - United States
Today, I was on a train when an old man standing next to me very obviously checked me out, caught my eye, and winked. He spent the next five minutes rubbing his penis against my leg. When I turned to tell him off, the train lurched, and the old man fell face first into my breasts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42692) - you deserved it (4839)
On 07/05/2009 at 12:12am - misc - by bridezilla (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I went swimming with this guy I like at dammed river. While we were jumping off the dam, I decided to try to impress him by doing a front flip. I didn't jump far enough off, so when I went to flip, my face skidded down the concrete wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26421) - you deserved it (29997)
On 07/04/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45466) - you deserved it (17948)
On 07/04/2009 at 5:07pm - love - by DutchOven (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I got called to a biker bar to break up a fight between my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41398) - you deserved it (1504)
On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - misc - by hot_mess88 (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55809) - you deserved it (9522)
On 07/04/2009 at 4:58am - intimacy - by R_U_CEREAL (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58581) - you deserved it (3714)
On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, I was working at the library. Some punks thought it would be funny to shit in a book, close it and return it in the drop box. The fact that it was sitting outside in the ninety degree heat for a couple hours did not help the stench; it was everywhere and I had to clean the mess. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48238) - you deserved it (2120)
On 07/02/2009 at 8:18pm - work - by alwaysxgettingxshitxon (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML
I agree, your life sucks (43206) - you deserved it (3473)
On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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