I'm awesome :D
Today, I thought it would be funny to draw a d*ck on my friend's binder while he was out of the class. While perfecting the drawing I realized the class had gone quiet. Looking up I realised my teacher had been watching me. I had to stand up infront of the class and talk about the drawing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2566) - you totally deserved it (23715)
On 11/12/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by MaiB (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I auditioned for a part and made it because the director thought I would be "perfect" for the part and I was "just like the character in every way." The part is for a schizophrenic drug addict who everyone hates and is stabbed to death in the second scene. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14152) - you totally deserved it (1940)
On 11/12/2009 at 4:37pm - work - by Falafax (man) - United States
Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18669) - you totally deserved it (2140)
On 11/05/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Xero_316 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21546) - you totally deserved it (1540)
On 11/01/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by WasteOfTime (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)
Today, I got rear-ended at a stop sign on a seldom used road in my neighborhood. As I open my car door to trade insurance information with the guy, he backs up a little and speeds away, taking my car door with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you totally deserved it (722)
On 10/31/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23600) - you totally deserved it (949)
On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)
Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16927) - you totally deserved it (3768)
On 10/29/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Quirk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7357) - you totally deserved it (31567)
On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, in Biology, my teacher had asked me what "any living thing" was. Instead of saying "Organism", I blurted out "Orgasm". Which, as I might add, is now my new nickname. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15264) - you totally deserved it (6097)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:27am - misc - by Kearstinkid (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57715) - you totally deserved it (1750)
On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to dress in all black with a ski mask and use my spare key to break into my house as a joke. He though it was even funnier when I jumped out the window and broke my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25648) - you totally deserved it (3449)
On 10/03/2009 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was on my computer when the girl that I really like instant-messages me. I went to type back, accidentally pressed control-V, and posted an entire article on how to remove genital warts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7974) - you totally deserved it (24356) - moderated and selected by Kevin Nealon
On 10/01/2009 at 1:58am - health - by Garrett (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I learned that "Je suis excité" does not mean "I'm excited" in French. It means "I'm sexually excited"... more or less. I've been doing a lot of exciting things and using it a lot the past two weeks. With my French friends, people I meet, and especially with my host family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20958) - you totally deserved it (8421)
On 09/21/2009 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidently pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6605) - you totally deserved it (43297)
On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I got a new bike for college. Excited, I decided to go on a bike ride. A couple blocks away, I got hit by a car. The truck pulled over and a man got out and put my bike in his truck and drove off. I had to crawl/limp back home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37284) - you totally deserved it (1311)
On 09/03/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by collegebike (woman) - United States (Texas)
