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mcmuffinman1

Offline (the 10/02/2014 at 7:59am) | Search for a member

mcmuffinman1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 18 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 402
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About mcmuffinman1 : I'm a math major in college and a magician and tutor. Okay, so I'm a little strange...
I know origami, make balloon animals, and like to laugh more than anything. Okay, I'm more than just a little strange...
I think that there is nothing better in life than laughing! Anyone else with me?

mcmuffinman1's page activity

Visits<b>Lct1196</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 1:59pm<b>LittleBells</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 11:09pm<b>umerin</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 5:28am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:00pm<b>NessieMonster188</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:01pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 3:57am<b>csofball7</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 10:16pm<b>Bluekaren16</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 9:08pm<b>cjwayy</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 9:08pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 7:05pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 8:54pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:53pm<b>Amber_Naomy</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 2:45am<b>iamsolid</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 5:38pm<b>haw008</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 2:16am<b>alliane</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 1:43am<b>Meggston</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 5:32pm<b>MissSarcasm01</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 2:11pm

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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mcmuffinman1's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered the downside to having a "sneak-attacks-allowed" tickle war with my 4-year-old son. I had to explain to several outraged strangers at the supermarket why my son kept flinching and pulling away whenever I made any sudden movements near him. FML

#21207892
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41565) - you deserved it (6141)

On 07/13/2014 at 12:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML

#21139954
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44123) - you deserved it (6512)

On 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by oh god. - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41103) - you deserved it (15334)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while having a sneak through my brother's browser, I found a bookmark for a Google Docs file. It was a short story involving him horrifically killing our entire family. It ended with the words: "And that is what happens when people don't respect the author's privacy." FML

#21073315
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25311) - you deserved it (55554)

On 02/27/2014 at 4:46pm - misc - by well SHIT (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I sat down with my daughter to have the sex talk, because she recently started seeing a guy. I mentioned at one point how disappointed I would be if she got pregnant. She went wide-eyed and asked, "Didn't mom tell you?" FML

#20942769
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57596) - you deserved it (6016)

On 11/02/2013 at 5:10pm - kids - by unknown (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45626) - you deserved it (8370)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

#20875776
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47462) - you deserved it (4074)

On 09/10/2013 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43801) - you deserved it (21566)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML

#20181345
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41034) - you deserved it (3621)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30950) - you deserved it (18139)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59444) - you deserved it (3054)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44583) - you deserved it (3889)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, Child Protective Services came to my house, because my 7-year-old son told people at school that he was uncomfortable sleeping in his uncle's bed. I had to explain to them that the uncle in question died 2 years ago, and that's why it felt weird. FML

#19713901
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31113) - you deserved it (2351)

On 06/01/2012 at 3:02am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend came to my house crying because the guy who she has been cheating on me with doesn't want to be with her anymore. FML

#18163904
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54238) - you deserved it (3888)

On 11/05/2011 at 11:40am - love - by oink401 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

#17088739
430 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73699) - you deserved it (7683)

On 07/13/2011 at 1:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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