About mclauren29 : Hi, I'm Lauren.
I like my daily dosage of FML. Though I dig the comments more than anything else.
I like the regulars commenters and FMLs that aren't about cats.
About mclauren29 : Hi, I'm Lauren.
mclauren29's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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mclauren29's favorite FMLs
by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML
by Nick / 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
by who_could_it_be / 08/06/2009 at 9:35am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the train and some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML
by Fred / 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
Today, I was at my friends birthday party, dancing bare foot because my feet hurt from the heels. Apparently, someone dropped a glass on the dancefloor and didn't warn anybody. I ended up having to drive myself to the emergency room because all my friends were "having too much fun to leave." FML
by not-so-happy-feet / 06/14/2009 at 7:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by dawg3360 / 06/07/2009 at 2:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML
by soljaboy / 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
by Unluggee / 06/04/2009 at 6:38am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
by Angelofkarma / 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Love
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
by sucks / 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 4:12pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love
by FakeID / 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
by Anonymous / 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…