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mclauren29

Offline (the 10/24/2014 at 2:45pm) | Search for a member

mclauren29

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1531
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mclauren29 : Hi, I'm Lauren.
I like my daily dosage of FML. Though I dig the comments more than anything else.
I like the regulars commenters and FMLs that aren't about cats.

mclauren29's page activity

Visits<b>Logan124</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:44pm<b>silmisstar</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:24pm<b>LilCheeno</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:40pm<b>scarman</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:03pm<b>mattb77</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:25am<b>enriquegonzolas</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:12am<b>emmmmmyyyyy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:22am<b>shh_imbatmannnn</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:52am<b>rylaii</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:49am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:31am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:06am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:53pm<b>name_loading</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:52pm<b>rabechan</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:47pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 2:25pm<b>truboarder1</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 12:37am<b>barak263</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:51pm<b>Taylor22294</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:35pm

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mclauren29's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24068) - you deserved it (121123)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my dog to the vet for a routine surgery. The vets assured me that no dog had ever died during this procedure. Apparently my dog was the first. FML

#1188272
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (115671) - you deserved it (4548)

On 04/21/2009 at 9:48am - animals - by lylethomes15 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML

#1018681
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15010) - you deserved it (126037)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
687 comments

I agree, your life sucks (704038) - you deserved it (56035)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065
681 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33294) - you deserved it (482010)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML

#833140
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18876) - you deserved it (150177)

On 04/06/2009 at 10:42am - money - by brhorton02 (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

#800940
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35987) - you deserved it (164643)

On 04/04/2009 at 3:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

#798927
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18978) - you deserved it (145088)

On 04/04/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by ohshittttttt (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

#797984
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16232) - you deserved it (171716)

On 04/04/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by ashleyevans (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got up early to prank my family. I put a bucket of ice water on top of a door frame so whoever walked through would get an icy surprise. After I was done, I went back to bed. I woke up groggy and disoriented like always and walked right through the doorway I had rigged. FML

#742417
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16001) - you deserved it (153319)

On 04/01/2009 at 6:42am - misc - by blackvogue (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79021) - you deserved it (163373)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

#650213
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14898) - you deserved it (134490)

On 03/27/2009 at 8:24pm - misc - by Creep (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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