mclauren29

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Offline (the 05/25/2016 at 12:03pm)

mclauren29

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2753
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mclauren29 : Hi, I'm Lauren.
I like my daily dosage of FML. Though I dig the comments more than anything else.
I like the regulars commenters and FMLs that aren't about cats.

mclauren29's page activity

Visits<b>panromantic</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 9:42pm<b>Puddlepop</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:46am<b>PadfootLovesPie</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 1:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 7:50am<b>aidenmccarthy03</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:22am<b>Logan124</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:44pm<b>silmisstar</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:24pm<b>LilCheeno</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:40pm<b>scarman</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:03pm<b>mattb77</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:25am<b>enriquegonzolas</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:12am<b>emmmmmyyyyy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:22am<b>shh_imbatmannnn</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:52am<b>rylaii</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:49am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:31am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:06am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:53pm<b>name_loading</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:52pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:56pm

mclauren29's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of mclauren29's badges

mclauren29's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

by charlie3289 / 10/27/2011 at 1:01am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML

by omnomnom / 02/04/2011 at 7:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I went with my sister to her company Christmas party. They had a gift raffle, my number was called and I won $25 for a local restaurant. A few moments later, the manager came over and said, "You don't work here? You can't have that" and took it from me. FML

by unlucky / 12/15/2010 at 11:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I must be the only person who has been taking the contraceptive pill for six years without ever needing to use it as a contraceptive. FML

by justwow / 07/13/2010 at 10:27am / United Kingdom (Havering) / Intimacy

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

by yrfavweapon / 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, after two hours, I finally got my very cranky, sick baby to fall asleep. Five minutes later, a neighbor started shooting off fireworks. FML

by yrfavweapon / 07/02/2010 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, things heated up with the new guy I've been seeing for a couple of weeks, he kept saying things like "I want you so bad" and "it's going to take hours" to the point that I was so hot, I decided to go for it. Apparently he has "a problem sometimes" getting it up. FML

by unsatisfied / 01/31/2010 at 7:20pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, for my boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. FML

by Nosexytime / 01/14/2010 at 10:56am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 3:39am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, I received an e-mail from my stepmom. It was a picture of a boy that she said she thought I might like to know. Next to the picture was the message "he comes from a good military background". My love life is so pathetic that my stepmother feels the need to try and set me up. FML

by kay / 12/02/2009 at 9:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, while filling out some medical forms, I was asked for an emergency contact. I realized I didn't have anyone who would actually care enough to be my contact. FML

by meagainsttheworld / 10/26/2009 at 5:43pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

by Mac / 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm / Kids

Today, I realized the guy I've been hooking up with has a daughter who is a year younger than me. As if that wasn't bad enough, I also found out she had a child of her own. I've been hooking up with a grandpa. FML

by nen_00 / 09/14/2009 at 5:11pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was walking through the park I had to yawn. In mid-yawn, with my mouth wide open, I walked right through a spider web getting both the spider and the prey it was eating stuck in my mouth. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2009 at 3:02pm / United States (Tennessee) / Health

Today, was my third day at work. The hazing finally began. After a few rounds of "punch the new guy", I thought I would finally be safe because the manager walked into the kitchen. He saw what was going on, picked up a handful of ketchup packets, and began throwing them at me. FML

by newguy / 08/29/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Ohio) / Work