About mclauren29 : Hi, I'm Lauren.
I like my daily dosage of FML. Though I dig the comments more than anything else.
I like the regulars commenters and FMLs that aren't about cats.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14793) - you deserved it (354253)
On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7327) - you deserved it (118329)
On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38767) - you deserved it (570495)
On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38909) - you deserved it (95056)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7230) - you deserved it (113158)
On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7310) - you deserved it (125336)
On 06/04/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Unluggee (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (210287) - you deserved it (95028)
On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24546) - you deserved it (106469)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12559) - you deserved it (94881)
On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (207697) - you deserved it (10116)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML
I agree, your life sucks (16013) - you deserved it (97467)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19177) - you deserved it (94018)
On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking an exam and I knew I was unprepared, so I wrote some cheat notes on my ankle. As I cross my legs to look at my notes, I realize I wore tall boots to class. I can't even cheat properly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10637) - you deserved it (96842)
On 04/16/2009 at 12:21pm - misc - by Joe (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I took the bus to work and a sweet old lady got on after me and sat next to me. Halfway to work, she fell asleep and her head was on my shoulder. Trying to be nice, I gently tried to wake her up before my stop came. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (550029) - you deserved it (35347)
On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20539) - you deserved it (351014)
On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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