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mclauren29

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mclauren29
  • Town/Country : Sydney, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1050
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mclauren29 : Hi, I'm Lauren.
I like my daily dosage of FML. Though I dig the comments more than anything else.
I like the regulars commenters and FMLs that aren't about cats.

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mclauren29's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
514 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8981) - you deserved it (170630)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

#4503474
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8798) - you deserved it (118199)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20529) - you deserved it (463787)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

#3256249
290 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9938) - you deserved it (155354)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39621) - you deserved it (97818)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

#2597926
655 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7501) - you deserved it (120295)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

#2592984
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9345) - you deserved it (158960)

On 06/04/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Unluggee (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
721 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248813) - you deserved it (111434)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28765) - you deserved it (133775)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

#1694446
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14595) - you deserved it (118790)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (248166) - you deserved it (14291)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16483) - you deserved it (101016)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

#1387325
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19529) - you deserved it (96063)

On 04/27/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by BARF (woman) - United States (California)



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