Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mclauren29

Offline (yesterday at 6:16am) | Search for a member

mclauren29

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 13 May 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2102
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About mclauren29 : Hi, I'm Lauren.
I like my daily dosage of FML. Though I dig the comments more than anything else.
I like the regulars commenters and FMLs that aren't about cats.

mclauren29's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 2:56pm<b>Logan124</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 1:44pm<b>silmisstar</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:24pm<b>LilCheeno</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 4:40pm<b>scarman</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 2:03pm<b>mattb77</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:25am<b>enriquegonzolas</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 11:12am<b>emmmmmyyyyy</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 9:22am<b>shh_imbatmannnn</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:52am<b>rylaii</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 6:49am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 11:31am<b>tuckit</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 8:06am<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 5:53pm<b>name_loading</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 10:52pm<b>rabechan</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 4:47pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 2:25pm<b>truboarder1</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 12:37am<b>barak263</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 11:51pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 8:56pm

mclauren29's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of mclauren29's badges

mclauren29's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13475) - you deserved it (172202)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at work when I found an iPhone on the floor. I decided not to turn it into the manager and keep it. Five minutes later, a customer asked if anyone had turned in her missing phone. I said no and began to walk away, when her friend called her phone. It rang. She recognized the ringtone. FML

#18086269
534 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11180) - you deserved it (192531)

On 10/27/2011 at 1:01am - work - by charlie3289 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was looking in the refrigerator for something to drink. I found a jug of lemonade with a piece of paper on it saying "Mom's Lemonade, Don't Drink!" I was really thirsty, so I ignored it and drank the whole jug. My mom is about to have a colonoscopy and had filled it with laxatives. FML

#4503474
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12960) - you deserved it (137955)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by Nick (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (527435)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized that my company's calendar is synchronized throughout the whole building. The entire company now knows that I made love to my wife last Wednesday and Friday, and that I went out with a girl named Janet on Saturday. My wife's name is Julie, and she works in the same building. FML

#3256249
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11502) - you deserved it (168764)

On 06/26/2009 at 9:32pm - work - by Fred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47111) - you deserved it (126260)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a date with this guy. I waited at the restaurant for an hour and he didn't show. Thinking he stood me up, I went over to his place and keyed his car. Then I realized the date was for tomorrow. FML

#2597926
626 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10917) - you deserved it (138619)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:09pm - misc - by soljaboy (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, at a party, my three friends and I thought it would be fun to urinate in a jug. We dislike the neighbours, so decided to throw the contents of the jug over the fence into their garden. It hit a tree and splashed back. I ended up covered in our piss. FML

#2592984
382 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11027) - you deserved it (171161)

On 06/04/2009 at 6:38am - misc - by Unluggee (woman) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years took me to get a tattoo done with his name on. He paid for it. After it was done he told me it was over between us and he thought it'd be a nice reminder of him for me. FML

#2275729
742 comments

I agree, your life sucks (290868) - you deserved it (156725)

On 05/25/2009 at 2:05pm - love - by Angelofkarma (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
440 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33776) - you deserved it (146829)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. When the police officer approached me and asked for license and registration, I accidentally gave him my fake I.D. FML

#1694446
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16766) - you deserved it (127885)

On 05/06/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by FakeID (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (280758) - you deserved it (17792)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was holding a lit cigarette in one hand and a lollipop in the other. Guess which one I licked? FML

#1600117
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22230) - you deserved it (131790)

On 05/03/2009 at 5:05pm - misc - by htothecr (woman) - United States (Maine)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: