About mcintosh123 : I like Cheese.
Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said "turn around" it was her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7680) - you deserved it (48393)
On 05/15/2011 at 1:20am - misc - by marmarr - United States
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45870) - you deserved it (4521)
On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16643) - you deserved it (52199)
On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (41837) - you deserved it (6428)
Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27305) - you deserved it (5403)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried to clock in at work, only to have the clock tell me I "wasn't scheduled", so I asked my boss what was going on. Turns out I was fired, and this was her way of avoiding conflict. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26081) - you deserved it (1903)
On 03/21/2011 at 3:01pm - work - by anonymous - United States
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30282) - you deserved it (24911)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (10509)
On 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by AwkwardWaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16170) - you deserved it (27097)
On 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by gayboii (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (4006)
On 03/19/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by dollarstorepwnr (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to my dad and told him that I want to be a hotel maid, hoping that he would tell me "You can do better, you're smart, etc." Instead he said, "I'm glad you finally have a goal that you can actually achieve." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16185) - you deserved it (21175)
On 03/18/2011 at 1:32am - misc - by hopeless (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (3712)
On 03/17/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Username -
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16289) - you deserved it (69817)
On 03/16/2011 at 3:31am - intimacy - by eric - United States
Today, while at a school anti-drugs assembly, the speaker asked everyone to stand up if they knew someone who had died of an overdose. As I stood up, my friend hit me in the side, making me laugh. I stood frozen under accusing glares while the speaker bitched me out for a good 5 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (10603)
On 03/15/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10335) - you deserved it (52927)
On 03/13/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Monday 17 June 2013
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