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Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31424) - you deserved it (2270)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, a cute girl was walking towards me. She held up her hand for a high five, so I also did the same. I hadn't noticed her friend behind me, and was left hanging and embarrassed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7682) - you deserved it (1708)
On 01/21/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by antwo - United States
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8045) - you deserved it (20356)
On 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm - love - by Tiana - United States
Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8182) - you deserved it (23249)
On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8379) - you deserved it (1467)
On 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by bobin - United States
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21927) - you deserved it (1696)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46299) - you deserved it (4108)
On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States
Today, I pretended to not be able to go out with a friend so I could hang with my boyfriend at the movies. When I sat down I received a text that said "turn around" it was her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7384) - you deserved it (46285)
On 05/15/2011 at 1:20am - misc - by marmarr - United States
Today, my elderly father-in-law grabbed my breasts in the pool at a family gathering. I'd let it go as an accident if this wasn't the 4th time it happened today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41961) - you deserved it (3630)
On 05/01/2011 at 10:30am - intimacy - by nothanks - United States (Texas)
Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6958) - you deserved it (22538)
On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML
I agree, your life sucks (39961) - you deserved it (6220)
Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (4415)
On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I tried to clock in at work, only to have the clock tell me I "wasn't scheduled", so I asked my boss what was going on. Turns out I was fired, and this was her way of avoiding conflict. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25124) - you deserved it (1826)
On 03/21/2011 at 3:01pm - work - by anonymous - United States
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (23810)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (9964)
On 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by AwkwardWaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
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