About mcintosh123 : I like Cheese.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Socialite
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I NEED to know!
You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.
Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15917) - you deserved it (4305)
On 07/19/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18437) - you deserved it (1205)
On 06/26/2012 at 6:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4635) - you deserved it (48959)
On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (2402)
On 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by phonnah - United States (Maryland)
Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18458) - you deserved it (10374)
On 06/19/2012 at 11:35am - intimacy - by megasniper240 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20251) - you deserved it (3376)
On 06/16/2012 at 12:58am - love - by thefailwhale (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (5794)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by a chick in California - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23377) - you deserved it (3521)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34243) - you deserved it (2507)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Today, a cute girl was walking towards me. She held up her hand for a high five, so I also did the same. I hadn't noticed her friend behind me, and was left hanging and embarrassed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20659) - you deserved it (4202)
On 01/21/2012 at 11:50pm - misc - by antwo - United States
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8612) - you deserved it (21889)
On 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm - love - by Tiana - United States
Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8758) - you deserved it (24814)
On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22428) - you deserved it (4009)
On 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by bobin - United States
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23129) - you deserved it (1824)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48876) - you deserved it (4292)
On 08/09/2011 at 10:50am - love - by aliixmaee - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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