mcintosh123

Search for a member

Offline (the 04/06/2015 at 4:50am)

mcintosh123

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2910
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About mcintosh123 : I like long walks on the treadmill

mcintosh123's page activity

Visits<b>Witch_E_Poo</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 2:03pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 9:01pm<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 7:01am<b>TheBeast26</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 9:35am<b>LEGATE_LANIUS</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 1:25pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 7:56am<b>HopelesslyCiara5</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 6:10pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 4:13pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 7:19pm<b>MrConcise</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 9:18am<b>scottyboy417</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 3:04am<b>Luminescent</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:52pm<b>brook823</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 10:37pm<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 2:41pm<b>maxyutd</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 11:19am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 5:35pm<b>mk1hate1my1job1</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 8:09am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 8:12pm

Fucked!<b>summer135790</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 8:26pm

mcintosh123's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of mcintosh123's badges

mcintosh123's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work when a cute guy came up to me and said he liked my shirt. In a desperate attempt to say something back, I said, "Thanks, I like your shoelaces." FML

by anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 6:31pm / United States / Love

Today, I was at the beach with my parents, and I went for a swim in the sea. I got out and my parents started laughing their asses off. It wasn't until my dad pulled a condom out of my hair that I realized what they were laughing at. My dad even took a picture. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2012 at 6:04pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Holidays

Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML

by daddy'sgirl / 06/21/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Work

Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML

by phonnah / 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

by megasniper240 / 06/19/2012 at 11:35am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

by thefailwhale / 06/16/2012 at 12:58am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, all my guy friends kept hugging me tightly and then softly and then tightly again. I later found out they just wanted to feel my boobs on their chests. FML

by a chick in California / 06/14/2012 at 4:10pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

by rachiej8 / 06/10/2012 at 12:13am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

by jjs51 / 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm / United States / Transportation

Today, a cute girl was walking towards me. She held up her hand for a high five, so I also did the same. I hadn't noticed her friend behind me, and was left hanging and embarrassed. FML

by antwo / 01/21/2012 at 11:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

by Tiana / 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm / United States / Love

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

by Emily S / 10/09/2011 at 1:17am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my boyfriend kept falling asleep while he was at my house with me. I tried to have sex with him to help wake him up, but he said he was too tired and fell back asleep. Five minutes later, my friend walks in the room with food. He woke up from the smell and got up to get some for himself. FML

by bobin / 08/29/2011 at 1:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend of 4 years broke up with me. She took everything, including the kidney I gave her a year ago. FML

by aliixmaee / 08/09/2011 at 10:50am / United States / Love