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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend threw my things out. As I was trying to pack to leave for good, she tossed my wireless router. I leave to call someone to pick me up, she slaps me in my head, grabs keys, balls up her fist and threatens to kill me. I call the cops... and I get put in the cop car immediately. FML
Today, I didn't answer my cell phone. My Mom freaked out when she could not get in touch. She called the police and I did not hear the doorbell because I was sleeping. The police broke my door down. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, my parents woke me up in the middle of the night when they got in a huge argument and started yelling at each other. I was up all night. They decided to make it up to each other. They kept me up all night again. FML
Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML