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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32016) - you deserved it (25989)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17045) - you deserved it (4133)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)
Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22045) - you deserved it (2098)
On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found an ad for my job at my company on an online job board. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18808) - you deserved it (1079)
On 01/29/2009 at 8:06am - work - by Noname - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22465) - you deserved it (2310)
On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19977) - you deserved it (4876)
Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24342) - you deserved it (3091)
On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)
Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18390) - you deserved it (1172)
On 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by calikola - United States (New Jersey)
Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37559) - you deserved it (1112)
On 01/28/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by kiddo - United States (Illinois)
Today, I gathered the courage to participate in a class discussion. My professor laughed at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17704) - you deserved it (1452)
On 01/28/2009 at 6:03am - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (8435)
On 01/27/2009 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by ottawaaa - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20776) - you deserved it (1772)
On 01/27/2009 at 2:42pm - kids - by Noname - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3689) - you deserved it (11731)
On 01/27/2009 at 2:36pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I picked up my cat and it went wild because I didn't know he was sleeping. I ended with with several cuts, and one on my wrist. Later a kid in my high school saw my wrist and told my guidance counselor who told my parents. Now everyone thinks I'm either a liar, attention whore, or emo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (1590)
On 01/27/2009 at 12:44pm - animals - by Anizzaf - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33222) - you deserved it (6922)
On 01/27/2009 at 7:47am - intimacy - by theguy24 - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 20 May 2013
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