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mazora

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mazora

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  • Number of visits : 1262
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

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mazora's favorite FMLs

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML

#3838271
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9966) - you deserved it (93951)

On 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see a movie. After getting my seat, I went out to get food. Coming back, I saw the security guard. Thinking he would ask me for my ticket, I moved all the food to one hand to get the ticket in my pocket. I spilled it all. He didn't ask to see it. FML

#3772243
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28883) - you deserved it (14874)

On 07/15/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I'm balding faster than my dad. I'm 19. FML

#3768794
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51572) - you deserved it (2728)

On 07/15/2009 at 4:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to see a movie. He said he was busy that day, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me is making out and kicking my seat. I turn around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML

#3601601
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49534) - you deserved it (2845)

On 07/09/2009 at 1:49am - misc - by frankfukhergood - Canada

Today, being on my boyfriend's street bike for ten minutes gave me an orgasm. My boyfriend of three years, who constantly tries so hard to get me to, has never given me an orgasm. FML

#3528123
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51712) - you deserved it (6467)

On 07/06/2009 at 3:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I caught some perverts sitting in a car in front of my house, spying on my neighbors. When they refused to leave, I grabbed a baseball bat and they sped off in a hurry. Later, those same perverts came back to arrest my neighbors for drug trafficking. I had threatened cops. FML

#3419869
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47338) - you deserved it (10701)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:22am - misc - by DaveAlmighty (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a bike ride to enjoy the weather and stopped for a break on the sidewalk of an overpass, taking in the view of the beautiful hills. I was approached by a cop, who said to me: "Ma'am, I know your life is crap right now, but I'm sure it'll get better. Please don't jump." FML

#3395753
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50184) - you deserved it (4630)

On 07/01/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Liz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML

#3386815
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97702) - you deserved it (5540)

On 07/01/2009 at 2:33am - misc - by kewlio45 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was teaching swimming. A small boy said his stomach hurt, so I placed him on my back and carried him to the main building where he could lay down. He then jumped off my back and ran back towards the beach because 'he felt better'. I had explosive diarrhea all over my back. FML

#3375297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56504) - you deserved it (4253)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:26pm - kids - by unluckycounsellor (woman) - Bermuda (Hamilton)

Today, after dieting and working out for almost 3 months, I sit down on my chair to finish off some work. It broke. FML

#3050286
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38004) - you deserved it (4237)

On 06/20/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by babasheep - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went commando because its 98 degrees and sweaty boxers are a pain. While walking to class at UT I heard a girl laugh behind me, I turned and flashed a quick smile and kept walking. It turns out I had sweat through my khakis and she totally could see my crack. Texas weather sucks. FML

#2968548
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16920) - you deserved it (43726)

On 06/17/2009 at 1:44pm - misc - by Longhorn2011 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found the source of the bad smell that has been plaguing me for the past two weeks in my apartment. The police knocked on my door asking if I've seen my neighbor recently. I haven't. The smell has been that of a dead person. It's a smell that even Febreze can't remove. FML

#2637433
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77423) - you deserved it (4624)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:42pm - health - by Michael (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML

#2594715
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19197) - you deserved it (51312)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:09am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, two of my girlfriends and I went to a bar. The only action any of us got was a 50 year old man who came up and handed us "An origami vagina for the pretty ladies." FML

#2463557
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44287) - you deserved it (5019)

On 05/31/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by ailat0107 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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