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mazora

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  • Number of visits : 1326
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

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mazora's favorite FMLs

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23594) - you deserved it (4045)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was watching Star Wars : Attack of the Clones, and Yoda was using the force to move a heavy object. While in the middle of my loungeroom, I instinctively put my hand up to use the force to help him, infront of my father and sister. My sister will never let me live it down. FML

#7212401
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6857) - you deserved it (34589)

On 01/08/2010 at 2:56am - misc - by Fuzzy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my house. Hoping to get a little action, i started to make out with her. Unfortunately I was wearing basketball shorts so when I got an erection all she did was bat it back forth like a cat toy. FML

#6890097
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17308) - you deserved it (4534)

On 12/22/2009 at 8:09pm - intimacy - by shallowvomit1013 (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I decided to attach fifteen-pound weights to each foot so I could burn some extra calories while shoveling snow. My dad asked me to move one of the cars in the driveway. When I put my foot on the gas pedal, I couldn't take it off. I ended up hitting my sister and knocking her into a snow bank. FML

#6848786
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8739) - you deserved it (47544)

On 12/20/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Klamp18 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I texted a somewhat overweight girl I wanted to hook up with and asked her "Have you been dating anyone lately?" Unfortunately with predictive text, "dating" came out as "eating". I didn't realize it till after it sent. FML

#6761205
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16905) - you deserved it (27470)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:32am - love - by Proof-Reader (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the theatre with my 4-year-old son who was situated on my lap. Halfway through the movie, he turns to face me and states loudly, "Mommy, your legs are so furry!". Everyone watching the show turned and stared at us. FML

#6747789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (8135)

On 12/14/2009 at 1:58am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

#6525806
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24918) - you deserved it (2769)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Lemonhead (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my ceiling fan was rocking violently so I turned it off. I stood under it trying to figure out what the problem is, it fell on my face. FML

#6512004
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30878) - you deserved it (11559)

On 11/29/2009 at 11:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I hit a parked car. It happened to be my driving instructor's car. While he was instructing me, sitting in the passenger seat. I don't think I'll pass. FML

#6497177
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21767) - you deserved it (12677)

On 11/28/2009 at 4:37pm - misc - by badDriver (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I sat right next to the door on the bus. When I went to get up, a man tripped and pushed me down the exit door stairs. I fell down and legitimately broke my ankle. While tending to my ankle, the bus doors closed and my backpack with my laptop, notes and calculator drove away. FML

#6280011
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33806) - you deserved it (1919)

On 11/12/2009 at 9:43pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had lunch with some important potential clients at a fancy restaurant. I really wanted to make a good impression. When the piano music stopped, I started clapping while looking around for the pianist. Apparently, it was a CD. FML

#5953871
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9739) - you deserved it (35459)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:01am - work - by E.S. (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML

#5719271
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9044) - you deserved it (46120)

On 10/08/2009 at 8:22am - misc - by lumacsp - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents asked if they could borrow my car. Why? Because they were going to see someone about a Craig's List ad and wanted to look poor. FML

#5657528
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33434) - you deserved it (3122)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:38am - money - by poorcar (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was running late and realized I had locked my keys in my car. Frantic, I threw a rock through the drivers side window to retrieve them, just before noticing the passenger side door was unlocked. FML

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

#5593248
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30482) - you deserved it (2686)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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