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  • Number of visits : 2688
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 18 posted

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mazora's page activity

Visits<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:19pm

mazora's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mazora's favorite FMLs

Today, while cleaning out my garage, I found a pregnant spider. I couldn't step on the spider without releasing the baby spiders, so I went inside to get a glass jar to trap it. While trying to relocate the spider, I accidentally stepped on it. I now have a bunch of baby spiders roaming around. FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2010 at 12:25am / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

by Ginna / 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to be adventurous and give my boyfriend head in the downstairs tv room. Just as he was about to cum I heard someone walking towards the door. I took my mouth off to get up and lock the door just as he came. Didn't make it to the door but my dad saw something he will never forget. FML

by stickyface / 10/24/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

by Anonymous / 10/07/2010 at 2:29am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

by rosmaizura / 10/01/2010 at 3:39am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was singing and playing keyboards with my band on stage at a club. A drunken chick from the crowd tried to climb up onto the stage in her heels, fell, and grabbed the back of my mic stand to catch herself. And busted me in the mouth with my own microphone. Then she requested a song. FML

by northernlass / 09/20/2010 at 12:47am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got the car of my dreams. My daughter also learned how to write her name. Now I have "LAUREN" across the side of my car. FML

by llozano715 / 09/13/2010 at 1:41am / Kids

Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML

by fuzzy1895 / 09/11/2010 at 1:31am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, my 8 year old adopted daughter told me she wants me to take her back so another family can adopt her because I don't give her enough toys. FML

by Anonymous / 09/10/2010 at 10:56am / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose business. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2010 at 4:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my daughter asked for a dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck while I was on my computer working. Out of my wallet she took a fifty dollar bill. The ice cream man got a big tip before driving off. FML

by BrokebyKids / 09/06/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I swerved off the road and hit a tree in order to avoid hitting a dog that came out of nowhere. Don't worry, I didn't hit him. The person behind me did, though. FML

by vstan / 08/24/2010 at 8:48pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, the ice cream truck went by my house for the seventh time today, as it has for the last seven days of my fasting. FML

by IceCreamCraver / 08/16/2010 at 4:35pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my girlfriend's mom and dad walked in on us while we were playing naked twister. FML

by FML / 08/12/2010 at 12:19pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I was called handsome. Too bad it was coming from a trashed homeless lady, who then went on to tell me that she likes my lips and wants to rape me. FML

by IllJustGetYouASweaterThen / 08/04/2010 at 3:58am / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy