mazio09210517

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mazio09210517

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 September 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 589
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mazio09210517's page activity

Visits<b>EvilKaa</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 12:46am<b>kyesha_1122</b> - the 07/06/2016 at 11:03pm<b>DumbledoreDies1</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:08pm<b>StarOfDoom</b> - the 12/02/2015 at 8:24am<b>Jatok</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 2:06pm<b>forsook</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:54pm<b>ostark</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 10:18pm<b>amadeclton</b> - the 03/25/2015 at 10:56pm<b>PinkiePiePony</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 5:17pm<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 10:12am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:16am<b>brettrb</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:17pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:17pm<b>themagicalkitten</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Serquet70</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:13pm<b>rockne93</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 10:00am<b>losechester</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 1:10pm<b>AnonymousMexican</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:27am

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mazio09210517's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

by divorce? i think so / 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

by obtuse_ballsack / 06/04/2012 at 4:37pm / Croatia (Grad Zagreb) / Kids

Today, while at my ex-girlfriend's wedding, I had to hear her explain how she met the love of her life. This happened in the four years we were dating. FML

by Stolemylady / 06/04/2012 at 3:05am / Australia / Love

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

by whattheheck / 06/04/2012 at 12:34am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML

by fml / 05/22/2012 at 7:54pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

by picklet / 05/12/2012 at 10:36am / Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan) / Work

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2011 at 8:43am / United States / Love

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

by Mike / 12/15/2010 at 6:57am / Work

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

by axwound / 12/27/2009 at 8:04am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

by offbeans / 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

by name50 / 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous