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mazio09210517

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mazio09210517

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 21 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 377
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mazio09210517's page activity

Visits<b>BigSeedDeed99</b> - 3 hours ago<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:16am<b>brettrb</b> - the 06/07/2014 at 12:17pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:17pm<b>themagicalkitten</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 9:57pm<b>Serquet70</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 11:13pm<b>rockne93</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 10:00am<b>losechester</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 1:10pm<b>AnonymousMexican</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 2:27am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 1:17am<b>RubenTheGreek</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 9:44pm<b>straww</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 5:20pm<b>LivinALoveStory</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 12:06pm<b>Kovu</b> - the 04/19/2013 at 12:38am<b>ThePolloBandito</b> - the 08/22/2012 at 1:42am<b>SneakyCaveman</b> - the 08/21/2012 at 6:36pm<b>outoftown</b> - the 08/21/2012 at 4:32pm<b>THE_A_TEEN</b> - the 08/21/2012 at 11:29am

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mazio09210517's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my husband's journal, and along with it the real reason he took so long to show up to our wedding rehearsals last year. According to the journal, it was because he was too busy wooing a married mother of five and sticking his "slut-banger all up in that fat booty." FML

#19965581
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (2736)

On 07/20/2012 at 10:12pm - misc - by divorce? i think so (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML

#19749862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34042) - you deserved it (5804)

On 06/07/2012 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

#19733599
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21421) - you deserved it (2292)

On 06/04/2012 at 4:37pm - kids - by obtuse_ballsack (man) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, while at my ex-girlfriend's wedding, I had to hear her explain how she met the love of her life. This happened in the four years we were dating. FML

#19730976
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26798) - you deserved it (5930)

On 06/04/2012 at 3:05am - love - by Stolemylady - Australia

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

#19730259
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30933) - you deserved it (3048)

On 06/04/2012 at 12:34am - misc - by whattheheck - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

#19701580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25720) - you deserved it (1641)

On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. He asked me what had brought me there, so I said I needed to get over some issues. He told me to close my eyes and visualize myself constructing a bridge. I paid to get told to build a bridge in my mind's eye. FML

#19664202
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15716) - you deserved it (4082)

On 05/22/2012 at 7:54pm - health - by fml - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I started the job of my dreams. Our first marketing meeting was an in-depth analysis of the phrase, "Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate". I have a 5 year contract. FML

#19611170
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19716) - you deserved it (3980)

On 05/12/2012 at 10:36am - work - by picklet (woman) - Malaysia (Negeri Sembilan)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (4800)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

#14610611
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14038) - you deserved it (36241) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was "I farted". Well, at least they all laughed. FML

#14211006
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28425) - you deserved it (7868)

On 12/15/2010 at 6:57am - work - by Mike -

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

#6971032
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12228) - you deserved it (25211)

On 12/27/2009 at 8:04am - animals - by axwound (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (232574) - you deserved it (81234)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

#13325
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13062) - you deserved it (64410)

On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)



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