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maz2390

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maz2390

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  • Number of visits : 1665
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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maz2390's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:01pm

maz2390's FML badges

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maz2390's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to an interview for a job I really wanted and am qualified for. I've been looking for months. This job was perfect; close to home and great pay. Needless to say I spent quite a while preparing. Everything was going great until I had to sneeze, which forced out a loud, long fart. FML

#5288582
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44799) - you deserved it (3608)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:37am - work - by interviewed (woman) - United States

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

#5163461
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18470) - you deserved it (4860)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

#5145727
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9009) - you deserved it (53177)

On 09/09/2009 at 8:32am - misc - by Victor (man) - United States

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

#5072943
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43027) - you deserved it (5308)

On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - misc - by shoelace18 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mum hit me with her car as she was backing out of the drive way, hurting my leg and crushing my bike. For the third time this year. FML

#4994613
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47213) - you deserved it (9271)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:45am - health - by broken (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I noticed my wife makes more satisfied groans when she's taking a big dump than she does when we make love. FML

#4992534
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (6197)

On 09/02/2009 at 1:56am - intimacy - by turdburger (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

#4983911
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43183) - you deserved it (2621)

On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my college roommate whom I've never met moved in. Good thing I wasn't completely naked, playing with myself on the couch when he walked in. That would've been awkward. FML

#4983449
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9152) - you deserved it (36673)

On 09/01/2009 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by mrboston (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12075) - you deserved it (40572)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked into the kitchen and saw a note my roomate posted. As I got close to read it I was attacked by a very pissed off cat. The note said "Left window open last night, stray cat got in. Watch out he isn't friendly." FML

#4977727
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40589) - you deserved it (2785)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:51pm - animals - by Catscratch (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

#4958000
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85678) - you deserved it (5122)

On 08/31/2009 at 6:05pm - kids - by beya (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

#4956234
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37329) - you deserved it (10301)

On 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML

#4861565
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (19444)

On 08/27/2009 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML

#4832941
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14098) - you deserved it (104519)

On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

#4820623
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51851) - you deserved it (3224)

On 08/25/2009 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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