Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mayo21

Search for a member

mayo21

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1024
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mayo21's page activity

Visits<b>odod777</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 2:36pm<b>kritz0</b> - the 04/04/2011 at 10:44am

mayo21's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mayo21's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancé proposed to me. I was really excited until he asked, "Can we go halfsies on the ring?" FML

Today, I got fired from my recently acquired job at a doctor's office because I don't "agree with family values". The way I'm disrespecting their "family values"? I'm gay. FML

#13126825
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47877) - you deserved it (21124)

On 09/20/2010 at 10:33am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a friend of mine came to my house with tears in her eyes. I thought she was finally single so I could ask her out. Actually, her mother found out she was dating a girl, so she wants me to be her fake boyfriend as a cover-up. At least we're "dating" now. FML

#12187825
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40228) - you deserved it (5774)

On 07/29/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work a really hot guy came up to me and asked "what are your hours?" Excited, I told him I get off at 4 but might be able to get out sooner. He started laughing and then said "I meant your store hours". He turned around and walked away, shaking his head and laughing. FML

#8293432
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12674) - you deserved it (28502)

On 02/15/2010 at 9:29am - work - by Dumbdumb (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying I was immature for making gay jokes all the time. A few hours later, I got six texts and three calls from guys I didn't know. It turns out, she put my name and number on Craigslist as a gay man seeking a relationship. FML

#8013875
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11262) - you deserved it (48841)

On 02/08/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by christian9294 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27205) - you deserved it (3115)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML

#7583250
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36393) - you deserved it (11844)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Eagle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to a hot girl at the bus stop. She seemed interested in me and I was feeling a connection forming. When the bus came, I offered to let her board first, but she said it "wasn't her bus" and said goodbye. Later, I realized I'd spent 20 minutes making moves on a prostitute. FML

#7203534
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16565) - you deserved it (6141)

On 01/07/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by SlappyMcGee (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old male who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

#7025515
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15050) - you deserved it (2527)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83816) - you deserved it (4751)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

#6940089
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33255) - you deserved it (3332)

On 12/25/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (California)

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

#6927698
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6556) - you deserved it (71983)

On 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by paidback - United States

Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML

#6526778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34043) - you deserved it (2698)

On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - intimacy - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I parked my convertible in the 5 minute bay at the post office. When I came back out I noticed a bum in the front seat pretending to drive it. After shouting at him and pulling him out, he stumbled off. I was then slapped with a ticket for being parked longer than 5 minutes. FML

#6309231
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24849) - you deserved it (5403)

On 11/15/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by John (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a bucket of Twizzlers for our 1 year anniversary because 'he knew I liked them.' He has no idea why I am so upset. FML

#6303119
479 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15219) - you deserved it (41336)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: