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About maxwell500m : My life seems to be going in the direction of F*** My Life
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8846) - you deserved it (32040)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, three months after finally ending a long relationship with the love of my life because he was cheating on me, we are now seeing each other again. And cheating on our new significant others with each other. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4040) - you deserved it (54163)
On 10/09/2009 at 2:41am - love - by oliviakelly25 (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61988) - you deserved it (4011)
On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30446) - you deserved it (2792)
On 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm - love - by Rage (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29275) - you deserved it (2737)
On 10/07/2009 at 5:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42548) - you deserved it (1698)
On 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by zitroskies (man) - United States (California)
Today, I showed my boyfriend the new tattoo of a butterfly that I'd gotten on my lower back. He said, "It looks like it's flying when your rolls jiggle." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9612) - you deserved it (26841)
On 10/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by lovebigmacs (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I retook my ACT. I have been fighting a cold all week and have been very sneezy lately. Midway through the test, I got the urge to sneeze. Since it was very quiet and I didn't want to disturb the peace, I tried to hold my sneeze in. I ended up letting out a huge fart instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27688) - you deserved it (7001)
On 10/05/2009 at 10:21pm - misc - by Sneezy123 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8825) - you deserved it (29435)
On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I left home to start my new life at University. Saying goodbye to my mother, the last thing she said to me was "Don't turn gay". I'm gay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39441) - you deserved it (7629)
On 09/30/2009 at 5:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (4235)
On 09/26/2009 at 4:00am - misc - by vcarder - United Kingdom
Today, while brushing my teeth my 5 year old son walks into the bathroom. He gave me a mean look and said, "That Sammy's toothbrush, not yours." I have been brushing my teeth with the dog's toothbrush for two months now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27795) - you deserved it (5690)
On 09/25/2009 at 11:01am - kids - by bigdaddy (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24900) - you deserved it (5066)
On 09/25/2009 at 4:43am - health - by SterlingEnigma (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13183) - you deserved it (32727)
On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, while my 18 pound cat was on the edge of the tub watching me shower, he fell in. Apparently, in his mind, the best way to get away from the water is to climb my bare legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28209) - you deserved it (3889)
On 09/17/2009 at 7:14am - animals - by HHIChica (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
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