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maxtrader007

Offline (the 10/25/2014 at 11:10pm) | Search for a member

maxtrader007

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maxtrader007's page activity

Visits<b>ace_arnie</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 3:32pm

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maxtrader007's favorite FMLs

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

#21199713
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46314) - you deserved it (14239)

On 07/05/2014 at 4:19pm - health - by Rowansgonnarow -

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44869) - you deserved it (25531)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43264) - you deserved it (15337)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42959) - you deserved it (6130)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56746) - you deserved it (6841)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32735) - you deserved it (52427)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started browsing the Internet. While I was on my Facebook page, my boss tagged me in a status: "I've been standing behind you for ten minutes." FML

#21134321
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (46146)

On 05/08/2014 at 7:46pm - work - by notbrowsingnow (man) - United States

Today, my four year old son came into the restroom while I was applying my make-up, and asked me "Mommy, are you putting on make-up so that someone will love you?" FML

Today, an old man wanted to give me a tip for bagging his groceries. He slipped some money as deep into my pocket as he could, stroking my thigh for a few long seconds in the process, then he gave me a creepy smile and winked before walking away. FML

#21134110
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41578) - you deserved it (4107)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

#21133708
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (5969)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:01pm - misc - by veggiedude - United States (California)

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend, his response was, "I'll start watching pregnant porn to build up an attraction to it." FML

#21110801
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50438) - you deserved it (7439)

On 04/12/2014 at 1:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43582) - you deserved it (7201)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43498) - you deserved it (6504)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized how sad my life is when for my 18th birthday, I went to a strip club, by myself, in GTA V. FML

#21092916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (7514)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:42pm - misc - by BMTH2296 (man) - United States

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

#21091718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37371) - you deserved it (4619)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm - misc - by skrumpp (man) -



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