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Today, my drunk boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to light a firework in the back seat of my car while we were driving down the interstate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28555) - you totally deserved it (3965)
On 07/04/2009 at 6:48pm - misc - by litup (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today my boyfriend proposed to me at the zoo. With a Ring Pop. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you totally deserved it (5956)
On 07/04/2009 at 12:49am - love - by Cococautly (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you totally deserved it (54924)
On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door "Are you jacking off in there or something?!" and him scream back at her "Shut up you F*ing cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63380) - you totally deserved it (37067)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you totally deserved it (65010)
On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38180) - you totally deserved it (2884)
On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5126) - you totally deserved it (101337)
On 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you totally deserved it (12139)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML
I agree, your life sucks (38645) - you totally deserved it (13855)
On 05/16/2009 at 5:13am - misc - by UncleRory (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19945) - you totally deserved it (25117)
On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14217) - you totally deserved it (221966)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML
I agree, your life sucks (53643) - you totally deserved it (10124)
On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was going to have sex with my hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was "pollo frito". I then proceeded to have sex, constantly screaming pollo frito for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27776) - you totally deserved it (87358)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I was going on holiday. As I was checking in my bags, I said to the really cute steward, "I think I'm overweight." He proceeded to tell me about discounts for customers of 'larger proportions.' I was talking about my suitcase being overweight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40064) - you totally deserved it (9816)
On 04/06/2009 at 9:39am - health - by blahbags (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I finally stood up to a bully who had been messing with me for over a year. His response? He picked up the chair I was sitting in and threw me across the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20216) - you totally deserved it (2033)
On 02/05/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
