Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maxpaen

Search for a member

maxpaen
  • Town/Country : Aarhus, Denmark
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 January 1992 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 202
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maxpaen's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

maxpaen's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my first day at my new job at a nursing home. Not only were we short staffed, two residents passed away, and I got beaten up by an old man. FML

#20401181
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22422) - you deserved it (1977)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:46pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my car is still in the shop, so I asked my psycho brother to drive me to the mall. He sped up to nearly 20km over the speed limit, so I shouted for him to stop before he got us both killed. He hit the brakes in the middle of an intersection, and wouldn't move again until I got out. FML

#20401140
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (7048)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg)

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22137) - you deserved it (1703)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

#20397769
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (7253)

On 12/13/2012 at 9:35am - misc - by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32092) - you deserved it (1655)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23446) - you deserved it (5526)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was at the breakfast table when my sister started eating a banana. Before I knew what was happening, I'd somehow popped a boner. I had to wait for her to leave before I could stand up. FML

#20195358
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22609) - you deserved it (15033)

On 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm - intimacy - by bill219 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find a mouse in the garage. Frantic, I killed it. My 7-year-old son came home from soccer, and started crying because he couldn't find the class pet, Mr. Whiskers. I killed my son's class pet. FML

#20194994
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (15044)

On 12/07/2012 at 10:30am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML

#20194899
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20784) - you deserved it (2800)

On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

#20186892
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7705) - you deserved it (18985)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16866) - you deserved it (41834)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23438) - you deserved it (5277)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31058) - you deserved it (4720)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17179) - you deserved it (1643)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: