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maxinne

Offline (the 07/17/2014 at 9:37am) | Search for a member

maxinne

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2557
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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maxinne's page activity

Visits<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:25am<b>bitchwhore</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:25pm<b>kosherkraut</b> - the 07/15/2011 at 3:19pm<b>PlasmaVirus</b> - the 06/17/2011 at 9:02pm

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maxinne's favorite FMLs

Today, the regional manager of my company came out to do some performance reviews. I was so nervous that my palms were sweaty, and when he reached out to shake my hand, I blurted out, "I'm sorry, you made me wet." FML

#20660456
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46760) - you deserved it (8975)

On 05/13/2013 at 8:01am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49123) - you deserved it (11035)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

#20646351
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30773) - you deserved it (39688)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65573) - you deserved it (12603)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML

#20586964
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33501) - you deserved it (13064)

On 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm - misc - by SoreNips (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46845) - you deserved it (4843)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. Three people showed up. My mom, my dad, and the priest. FML

#20574279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60199) - you deserved it (4456)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:46am - love - by nobodylovesme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He raised an eyebrow and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML

#20566988
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20075) - you deserved it (50705)

On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44272) - you deserved it (15062)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39200) - you deserved it (22623)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML

#20541635
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41682) - you deserved it (15667)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:57am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to give me a back rub. He claimed that he had a sore hand, so I retorted, "You have two hands, right?" Still bitter about not being able to have sex with me while I'm on my period, he shot back, "You have two holes, right?" I give up. FML

#20540243
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32810) - you deserved it (50703) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2013 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by Lilypad (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35007) - you deserved it (6745)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML

#20521590
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44494) - you deserved it (7264)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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