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Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16312) - you deserved it (2512)
On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5160) - you deserved it (19229)
Today, I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout my childhood is actually the sound my mom makes when she comes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29140) - you deserved it (1719)
On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)
Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17952) - you deserved it (3067) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (2426)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21059) - you deserved it (4559)
On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26865) - you deserved it (3094)
On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I learned that I'm expecting twins. A boy and a girl. My husband, upon finding out about this, immediately suggested that we give them Star Wars names. But not Luke and Leia. Oh no. He wants to name them Darth and Vayda. And he is absolutely serious about this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17422) - you deserved it (2591)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:03am - kids - by AGeeksWife (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26062) - you deserved it (1533)
On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (4121)
On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11356) - you deserved it (25803)
On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38222) - you deserved it (2639)
On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17779) - you deserved it (4583)
On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)
Today, it finally clicked in my mind how desperately lonely I am, when I shaved one of my legs just to find out what a woman's leg feels like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17414) - you deserved it (5637)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:46pm - love - by lonely. (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I realized why it's not a good idea to sleep with your boyfriend when he still lives with his mom. She may walk in, make you get dressed, and demand what you have to say for yourself. Trust me, "Your son is good at sex" is not the right answer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12186) - you deserved it (27884)
On 08/15/2012 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by shelby124 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Monday 20 May 2013
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