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maxinne

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maxinne

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 January 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2876
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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maxinne's page activity

Visits<b>Crash7777</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:25am<b>bitchwhore</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:25pm<b>kosherkraut</b> - the 07/15/2011 at 3:19pm<b>PlasmaVirus</b> - the 06/17/2011 at 9:02pm

maxinne's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

See all of maxinne's badges

maxinne's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a suicide prevention walk with a girl I like. Before the walk, we bought balloons to set free when they called the names of the deceased. To buy a balloon, you had to write a name on a sheet. Apparently, you weren't supposed to write your own. They called my name. FML

#20874883
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37563) - you deserved it (12060)

On 09/09/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I explained to my roommate that if she kept using all of our kitchen utensils as sex toys and hoarding them because of the varying degrees of orgasms she could achieve, we wouldn't be able to cook or eat in our own house. FML

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment. My new cat won't let me leave. Every time I try, he blocks the door, hisses and tries to savage me. I'm my own cat's bitch. FML

#20864719
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45205) - you deserved it (19233)

On 09/02/2013 at 3:22pm - animals - by aherdofpigs - United States

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56278) - you deserved it (6001)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43048) - you deserved it (7341)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my Japanese girlfriend home for dinner with my family for the first time. They all got drunk and made heaps of racist jokes right in front of us. My dad forgot her name and started calling her "Rice Ball" instead. FML

#20858245
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55892) - you deserved it (4422)

On 08/28/2013 at 6:35pm - love - by Thanks everyone (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

#20857818
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49555) - you deserved it (9261)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42361) - you deserved it (3271)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, I took my driving test. As I was about to turn at a green light, a car sped toward us from the other direction, running a red light. My instructor failed me because I stopped to avoid getting rammed. Apparently I should have kept going, because it was my right of way. FML

#20830853
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59931) - you deserved it (3213)

On 08/10/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

#20825212
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39408) - you deserved it (3846)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

#20824961
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47979) - you deserved it (23081)

On 08/07/2013 at 1:40am - animals - by Blood on my hands (woman) - United States

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control. Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang. The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room. FML

#20805312
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56172) - you deserved it (9320)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

Today, I got fired from my job as a seafood manager because an entire wedding group came in and started yelling at me, saying the shrimp was horrible and I ruined their wedding. They showed me the leftovers; they never cooked them. They fed raw shrimp at a wedding dinner party. FML

#20796202
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49072) - you deserved it (3484)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:20pm - work - by Gross (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing solitaire when an achievement popped up on my phone. "You have just completed your 1000th game of solitaire!" Never felt so alone in my life. FML

#20793723
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45668) - you deserved it (7614)

On 07/20/2013 at 4:14am - misc - by solitaire - United States (Washington)

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

#20775827
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99488) - you deserved it (11622)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States



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