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Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4962) - you deserved it (1096)
On 05/18/2012 at 11:05am - love - by Great. (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1395) - you deserved it (11635)
On 05/18/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by Karmaisabitch - United States (Colorado)
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3458) - you deserved it (5943)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was reading a book on paper for the first time in maybe a month. I had to stop at a word I did not recognise. Because I'm so used to using a Kindle, I tried to get the definition by pressing it. I had my finger on the word for a few seconds before I realised it was paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1556) - you deserved it (8441)
On 05/17/2012 at 2:57pm - misc - by Bilze - United States (Virginia)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10418) - you deserved it (1963)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11991) - you deserved it (722)
On 05/03/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by Turnipseed3 - United States
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3583) - you deserved it (12378) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5082) - you deserved it (823)
On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States
Today, a therapist told me that I was too depressed to attend his depression group meetings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8009) - you deserved it (684)
On 04/24/2012 at 7:22am - health - by Sad Sally (woman) - United States
Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1855) - you deserved it (15355)
On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9182) - you deserved it (30487)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (1699)
On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5104) - you deserved it (22356)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)
Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML
I agree, your life sucks (9871) - you deserved it (21785)
On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (4164) - you deserved it (10293)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
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