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mawile

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mawile

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  • Number of visits : 4277
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mawile's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:48pm<b>NathanNoir</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 6:13am<b>redbluegreen</b> - the 06/11/2009 at 10:37am

mawile's FML badges

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mawile's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked outside to see my friend frantically waving and running at me, yelling something I couldn't understand. I smiled and started to jog over to him until I realized he was screaming "RUN!!!" We spent the next 10 minutes running from his neighbor's 5 vicious chihuahuas. FML

#14080015
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (6081)

On 12/04/2010 at 2:08am - misc - by chi-huaHUA - United States

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31606) - you deserved it (28349)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12618) - you deserved it (113024)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML

#7290118
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (3700)

On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was standing outside a store about to flirt with this guy when my mother drove up and shouted, "Hurry up, I have diarrhea!" FML

#6824499
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31105) - you deserved it (2553)

On 12/19/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I looked at my house in Google Street View for the first time and noticed an unfamiliar vehicle in the driveway. When I asked my wife about it, she admitted to have an ongoing affair. Apparently the entire world knew my wife was having an affair before I did. FML

#6808651
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37328) - you deserved it (2532)

On 12/18/2009 at 9:31am - love - by cheaters_should_die (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

#6803629
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6569) - you deserved it (37365)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while lying in bed with my wife, I asked her if she still loved me. Her reply "Sometimes". This I know is true because she instantly rolled over and farted on my leg. FML

#6802710
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27625) - you deserved it (4072)

On 12/17/2009 at 10:48pm - love - by yoked (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I set up a miniature nativity scene in my apartment. Three hours ago, my dog decided it would be a good idea to eat baby Jesus. Two hours ago, the vet laughed and said not to worry because I would 'have him back in time for Christmas'. FML

#6791199
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22904) - you deserved it (5029)

On 12/17/2009 at 9:32am - animals - by gettingacat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that when an officer screams, "DON'T MOVE OR I'LL TASE YOU", it really means, "If you so much as flinch I'm going to shoot and 50,000 volts will be directed through your nose and groin." FML

#6785905
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24333) - you deserved it (10681)

On 12/16/2009 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31572) - you deserved it (22753)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38732) - you deserved it (2947)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML

#6420753
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26676) - you deserved it (5067)

On 11/23/2009 at 11:19am - misc - by PaperInfection (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my jeep wouldn't start so I opened the hood. I slammed my fingers in my jeep's hood. It latched shut. My hood release was inside the cab, and the jeep was in neutral and on an incline. It started to roll... with a ditch about 5 yards away. I had to skin my own fingers to get them out. FML

#6383914
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40983) - you deserved it (7457)

On 11/20/2009 at 8:28pm - misc - by FoundMyLighter (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, some obnoxious guys started calling me ugly. I tried to ignore them and be the bigger person. That's pretty hard to do when they start throwing rocks at you. FML

#6324167
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41793) - you deserved it (3003)

On 11/16/2009 at 6:39am - kids - by x0SoReckless0x (woman) - United States (New York)



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