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mattybstacks

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mattybstacks
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 293
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mattybstacks's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend compared my hair color to hers. Also, she braided my hair (two pieces) with hers (one piece). I asked her why and she finally broke down and told me. She has lice and didn't want to be the only one. FML

#14342949
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50746) - you deserved it (3886)

On 12/26/2010 at 3:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was in a store with my dad. He completely lost his temper and began yelling at the store owners. For some reason, he then removed his shirt in protest. FML

#14309461
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27798) - you deserved it (2043)

On 12/23/2010 at 9:48am - misc - by Username - Canada

Today, my recently married friend took off her wedding ring to make bread. Being single and pathetic, I tried it on to see what it would look like. It got stuck on my finger. The ER doctor had to cut it off. FML

#14298065
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8390) - you deserved it (34725)

On 12/22/2010 at 1:03pm - love - by lisa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I felt like adding my real middle name to my facebook name to make it look more professional. It was denied because they didn't feel it was a legitimate request. Minutes later, someone with the name of "Galactic Toast" friend requested me. FML

#14048289
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25225) - you deserved it (3240)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52471) - you deserved it (9842)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was on an airplane that was experiencing some turbulence. Feeling anxious, I reached over and grabbed my husband's hand for comfort. He then said, "Why are you scared of dying? You're not even pretty." FML

#13468251
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36479) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/16/2010 at 2:44am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I passed out at a party after having a few too many, as one does. I woke up with swastikas and penises drawn on my face with permanent marker. I now have to go home, using public transport, to my prudish, Jewish dad who thought I was at my friend's house for a sleepover with no alcohol. FML

Today, I attempted to be nice and hold a door open for a person in a wheelchair. He hit the button to open another door. While I pointed out that I would hold the door for him, I realized that the door I was holding open for him led down some stairs. FML

#13227031
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8899) - you deserved it (29418)

On 09/27/2010 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27543) - you deserved it (2940)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13331) - you deserved it (34270)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed a series of nude old people cycling in the city. I was eating. FML

#12536404
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32118) - you deserved it (4660)

On 08/15/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I decided to watch a movie I hadn't seen before to bring my spirits up, as I've been feeling down lately. How did the movie end? Everybody died. FML

#12344215
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20892) - you deserved it (5995)

On 08/06/2010 at 1:12am - misc - by Shouldaknown (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

#10870202
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33759) - you deserved it (7067)

On 05/30/2010 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I just realized the harder my girlfriend comes during sex, the louder she snores after. I've tried earplugs but sometimes, like tonight, once I am up, I can't fall back to sleep. My choices are thus great sex and no sleep, or great sleep but no sex. FML

#10398806
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31772) - you deserved it (4027)

On 05/07/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by SkiMaskFukd (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in my room, in my briefs and texting my girlfriend. Suddenly, I got a massive erection and I decided to take a picture to send her. As soon as my camera phone clicked, my mom walked in. You can see my mom in the picture screaming at me. FML

#8861010
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8145) - you deserved it (24181)

On 03/06/2010 at 1:10am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Washington)



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