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mattrd

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mattrd

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 February 1981 (33 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1097
  • Number of comments : 474
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 28 posted

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mattrd's page activity

Visits<b>derp_taco</b> - 2 hours ago<b>itsalanis</b> - 4 hours ago<b>oddone14</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 9:11pm<b>billyb998</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 1:22pm<b>Ltturner234</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 12:45am<b>metalscales</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:44pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:36pm<b>ccusi001</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Flasby</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:50pm<b>mandygrl1980</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:09am<b>TheCutestLizard</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 5:25pm<b>TerribleTherry</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 1:56pm<b>Lebeaugars95</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 12:57pm<b>LordGoober</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:08am<b>NeverComments</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 2:11pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 5:29pm<b>Blackcatluck</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:57am<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 12:59am

mattrd's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of mattrd's badges

mattrd's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

#21208907
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39297) - you deserved it (4993)

On 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51026) - you deserved it (5909)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47441) - you deserved it (7218)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

#21044466
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47750) - you deserved it (21042)

On 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

#20989946
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47145) - you deserved it (5533)

On 12/12/2013 at 6:27am - love - by Rumors - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

#20815203
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53018) - you deserved it (3499)

On 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58790) - you deserved it (10842)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47679) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, my 6-year-old daughter walked into the bathroom where I was grumbling about my weight. Seeing how upset I was, she took my hand and said, "Mom, you're not fat. You just look fat." FML

#20643910
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47541) - you deserved it (6340)

On 05/05/2013 at 8:56pm - kids - by me - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making lunch, when my two-year-old ran up to me and handed me an empty bottle of baby powder. I soon realized I'd be spending the rest of my day cleaning the entire house. FML

Today, I told my friend over the phone that I had to go drop the kids off at the pool. She told me that she didn't need to know about my bathroom habits and hung up on me. I really had to take my children to the local swimming pool for swim lessons. FML

#19844489
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20659) - you deserved it (2502)

On 06/25/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML

#19477089
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17304) - you deserved it (4319)

On 04/16/2012 at 2:53am - misc - by hdgyfjdzdfg (woman) - United States

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

#17843744
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11935) - you deserved it (31070)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:51pm - health - by mimi - United States (Illinois)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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