mattrd

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mattrd

14Fucked!

mattrdmattrd
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 22 February 1981 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2163
  • Number of comments : 792
  • Number of FMLs : 2 confirmed out of 37 posted

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mattrd's page activity

Visits<b>hare</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 7:27pm<b>FujisakiChihiro</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 2:01pm<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 12:32am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 4:29pm<b>IntoTheClouds</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:36pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 2:34am<b>max367</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 1:45am<b>ospreyman518</b> - the 03/27/2016 at 10:38pm<b>milkfx</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 7:07pm<b>eeeppp</b> - the 03/21/2016 at 11:49pm<b>IAmProbablyDrunk</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 11:41pm<b>sabby7</b> - the 03/15/2016 at 1:22am<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 03/14/2016 at 3:45am<b>Butters789</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 5:43pm<b>jttkkyt</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 4:57pm<b>austinsixx1994</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 10:38am<b>AznLuvsMusic</b> - the 03/02/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Sydd1799</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 10:34pm

Fucked!<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 04/16/2016 at 6:32am<b>Shmatterhorn</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 10:29pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 3:46pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 4:18am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 2:30pm<b>MissMayLaw001</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 3:22pm<b>looking4funny</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 5:54am<b>bandaidstations</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 5:15am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 2:08pm<b>JasonBB</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 4:26am<b>Christine_Junmin</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 7:27am<b>yuno_gasai</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 7:45am<b>ksks1234</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:02pm

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mattrd's favorite FMLs

Today, my family got mad at me for eloping and not inviting them to my wedding. Even though they admitted they wouldn't have gone anyway. FML

by BlueSteele220 / 03/22/2016 at 4:57am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I forgot to bring my lunch to work. I got so hungry, I resorted to eating antacid tablets from the medicine cabinet for lunch. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2016 at 6:17am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML

by Anonymous / 01/12/2016 at 1:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my pregnant sister has been watching Teen Mom 2 to find out how to be a good parent. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2015 at 8:58am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I was out with my youngest cousin and we had to stop for gas. Since he just got his license, I asked if he wanted to pump the gas while I went into the station to get snacks and pay. He pumped my car full of diesel. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2015 at 11:45am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my son has been trying to save enough of his earwax to make a candle. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

by legitfile.bat.virus.exe / 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my wife's cat ran away. After spending a lot of money making "Lost Cat" flyers and driving around for hours passing them out and searching for her cat, he walked downstairs. FML

by PsychoBillyGoat / 05/25/2014 at 8:47pm / United States (Alaska) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

by great 1st impression / 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my daughter home from school because she had been caught flashing the boys during class. I tried to explain to her that it wasn't an appropriate way to act or behave but she interrupted me, "Mom, you don't even understand." You're right. I don't. FML

by HouseWife / 05/20/2014 at 10:24pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's house, and he was taking a shower. I had to take a crap real bad, but his apartment only has the one bathroom. I couldn't wait for him to finish, and ended having to shit in a plastic bag. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2014 at 7:52pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, a rumor was spread around that I was dating somebody. I confronted the person who everyone thought I was dating, and asked him about it. He also thought we were dating. FML

by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I got my two-year-old's Halloween costume in the mail. I tried it on him to make sure it fit. He loves it so much that he is now having a complete meltdown because he wants to go trick-or-treating. He doesn't understand we only go trick-or-treating on Halloween. 23 more days to go. FML

Today, I found out via Instagram that my boyfriend didn't actually go to the Bahamas with his dad as he claimed. Not unless his dad lost weight, grew tits and long hair, and likes to make out with his son. They have no cellphone service, so I can't even call to break up with him. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 12:33pm / Japan (Tokyo) / Love