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mattoid12

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mattoid12

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 3 January 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 87
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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mattoid12's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26755) - you deserved it (2801)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

#20080998
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25003) - you deserved it (1292)

On 09/20/2012 at 5:34pm - health - by fuckalltwitardsintheface (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26256) - you deserved it (5314)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59330) - you deserved it (3049)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, yet again, I was getting intimate with my shower head. Some complete genius decided to flush the toilet downstairs halfway through, which sent scalding-hot water all up in my privates. I've yet to find a comfortable sitting position. FML

#20046536
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16085) - you deserved it (37789)

On 08/28/2012 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Bethany (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finished my shopping at Costco, and realized I had forgotten where I had parked. After scouring the parking lot for 20 minutes, I called the police and filed a report for a stolen vehicle. I then remembered I had bought a new car yesterday and parked it right next to the entrance. FML

#20044345
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7189) - you deserved it (32417)

On 08/27/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34415) - you deserved it (3733)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

#20003981
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35280) - you deserved it (2563)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by lils (woman) - United States

Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML

#19954505
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26553) - you deserved it (1497)

On 07/18/2012 at 12:37pm - work - by News-print Face Kate - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

#19949789
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (8590)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I gave up smoking. A few hours later, I caught myself daydreaming about brutally killing a guy that gave me a mean look at the bus. Maybe I should go back to smoking. FML

#19949441
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21020) - you deserved it (4907)

On 07/17/2012 at 9:54am - health - by Anonymous - Greece (Attiki)

Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

#19942597
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39643) - you deserved it (1835)

On 07/15/2012 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

#19942412
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35128) - you deserved it (3236)

On 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm - kids - by Zora (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

#19939674
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24325) - you deserved it (1838)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:51am - work - by kerensa (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
352 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34028) - you deserved it (39461)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States



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