About matthewiverson : .......
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17428) - you deserved it (1859)
On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20525) - you deserved it (5252)
On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36709) - you deserved it (2910)
On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
I agree, your life sucks (16861) - you deserved it (3195)
On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9114) - you deserved it (27626)
On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13661) - you deserved it (32182)
On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24356) - you deserved it (4963)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17502) - you deserved it (2121)
On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (7949) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18170) - you deserved it (2091) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16806) - you deserved it (2074)
On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15245) - you deserved it (4772)
On 08/17/2012 at 12:08am - love - by SquishFish - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10617) - you deserved it (32523)
On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18918) - you deserved it (1625)
On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14003) - you deserved it (1421)
On 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by 1D-107 - United States (Utah)
Monday 17 June 2013
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