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matthewiverson

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matthewiverson

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 727
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About matthewiverson : .......

matthewiverson's page activity

Visits<b>TitianSuperior</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 1:12am<b>jordinaelise</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 11:27pm<b>dalla25</b> - the 10/30/2012 at 7:38am

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matthewiverson's favorite FMLs

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

#20071956
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24051) - you deserved it (2795)

On 09/14/2012 at 7:06pm - kids - by -___- (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30693) - you deserved it (7448)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44634) - you deserved it (3893)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

#20064293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22270) - you deserved it (4363)

On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was apparently really loud, because when we finished I heard his mom and grandma sarcastically imitating me outside. FML

#20053590
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11928) - you deserved it (33193)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by screamer - United States (California)

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (47027)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29811) - you deserved it (5714)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

#20044244
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (3018)

On 08/27/2012 at 8:57am - love - by kvdfan (woman) - United States

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35760) - you deserved it (10431) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I realized the fastest way to wake up isn't from an alarm clock. It's from the warm, wet sensation of your old and senile cat peeing on you and your bed. I swear he was smiling. FML

#20033618
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22009) - you deserved it (2527)

On 08/21/2012 at 9:04am - animals - by jenA - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend was coming home after a month of being away. When I heard him knock on the door, I rushed to open it and jumped into his arms for a hug. It wasn't him; it was the mailman. FML

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14808) - you deserved it (38488)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24884) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was babysitting three kids, one of whom was particularly difficult to control. While trying to get him to behave, the two girls came up behind me and pulled my pants down. In front of a huge window open to the street below. FML

#19994550
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18574) - you deserved it (2031)

On 07/31/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by 1D-107 - United States (Utah)



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