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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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matthewiverson's favorite FMLs
by mayerstexmex69 / 11/08/2012 at 10:52am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
by Shauna / 11/08/2012 at 6:09am / United States / Kids
Today, I was told I will be having twins; this came as a shock since there are no twins in my family. When I asked my mom about it, she said that she wasn't surprised and not to worry about it because she had "absorbed her twin" and that the problem would "take care of itself." FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2012 at 1:13am / United States (Texas) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
by poorkids / 10/31/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Washington) / Kids
by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML
by Agirl / 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML
by Holy Testacles / 10/17/2012 at 12:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2012 at 8:36am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by stop it ninja / 10/14/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids
by / 09/26/2012 at 10:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, my roommate came out of the bathroom, and asked me how the scales knew her weight in both pounds and kilos, even though "the exchange rate is always changing." I actually live with this idiot. FML
by ak_6694 / 09/22/2012 at 3:29am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
by identitychangeplease / 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
by Shame / 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- Today, as I was mowing my neighbors lawn, I found the playboy magazine he left in his yard. I found… Today, I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can… Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room,…