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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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matthewiverson's favorite FMLs
by satega / 12/10/2012 at 2:07pm / United States (Missouri) / Holidays
by LLCK / 12/10/2012 at 5:13am / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love
by me. / 12/01/2012 at 9:54am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
by lizzard0416 / 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
by Widowmaker / 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Health
by Jeanna S. / 11/23/2012 at 10:10am / United States / Animals
by satega / 11/17/2012 at 4:15am / United States (Missouri) / Work
by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/12/2012 at 1:14am / United States / Transportation
Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML
by kitty / 11/11/2012 at 5:10am / Australia / Animals
by baby, baby no / 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML
by Kyle / 11/09/2012 at 1:57am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML
by Targeted / 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous