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matthewiverson

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matthewiverson

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 30 November 1993 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 615
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About matthewiverson : .......

matthewiverson's page activity

Visits<b>TitianSuperior</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 1:12am<b>jordinaelise</b> - the 05/13/2013 at 11:27pm<b>dalla25</b> - the 10/30/2012 at 7:38am

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matthewiverson's favorite FMLs

Today, my family went on a family trip without me. Their reason for not bringing me? My older sister wanted extra legroom during the drive. FML

Today, a lady on the bus came up to me and asked if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21253) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31535) - you deserved it (6237)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML

#20186465
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41917) - you deserved it (6606)

On 12/01/2012 at 9:54am - intimacy - by me. - United States

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (8797)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

#20182587
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6055) - you deserved it (41827)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11444) - you deserved it (23809)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24931) - you deserved it (3015)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34192) - you deserved it (3487)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom came home drunk and yelled at me for 20 minutes for not feeding the cat. We don't have a cat. FML

#20164653
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22051) - you deserved it (1444)

On 11/15/2012 at 7:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was visiting family in Oregon. I did not know it was illegal to pump your own gas; the cops were involved. FML

#20159952
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25668) - you deserved it (2062)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I watched my neighbor shake cat food calling, "Come here Mollie" at his back door. I then saw my own cat run into his house. I now know why my cat is so fat and never replies to me calling her Bonnie. I guess I'm being cheated on. FML

#20158567
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23924) - you deserved it (2473)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:10am - animals - by kitty - Australia

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19132) - you deserved it (2968)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17398) - you deserved it (3675)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26142) - you deserved it (2139)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)



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