About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.
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matthewdb's favorite FMLs
Today, the girl I was babysitting was being disrespectful to me, so I took away her stuffed animal and told her that she couldn't have it back until she apologized. She ended up sneaking onto my laptop and deleting all the pictures I'd saved from my recent vacation to Europe. FML
by Got_any_grapes1 / 04/11/2011 at 1:23pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I realized that my boyfriend does not stop by my apartment to give me a kiss between classes. He is actually stopping by between his classes to steal my condoms because he is too cheap to pay for them when he cheats on me. FML
by Carmen / 04/11/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I went to work at a chemotherapy clinic. After explaining to a patient about the risks and benefits of chemotherapy for his underlying metastatic lung cancer, he asks is it OK to smoke during chemotherapy. FML
by Shamdog48 / 04/11/2011 at 11:08am / United States (New York) / Work
by CheeseyPotatoes / 04/11/2011 at 9:16am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my phone wasn't working properly. After sending out 40 texts and getting no replies, I decided to test my phone by sending it a text from my old phone. The text came through straight away. Turns out my phone's working perfectly and 40 people are just ignoring me. FML
by Ignored / 04/11/2011 at 5:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by owmyhead / 04/11/2011 at 2:23am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Work
by blower / 04/11/2011 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 11:26pm / Miscellaneous
Today, after three days of hospital camping with my very sick husband, he was finally out of danger when I left last night to get my first good night's sleep in almost 96 hours. He woke me at 5 a.m. with a phone call asking me to bring him comic books because he's bored. FML
by Frazzled / 04/10/2011 at 6:59am / United States (Ohio) / Health
Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML
by Ouch / 04/10/2011 at 4:55am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 2:05am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/10/2011 at 1:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy
by torny>horny / 04/10/2011 at 12:42am / United States / Love
by Sid / 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was reading a blog post by a girl that I really like. In the post, it said, "I know I'm not beautiful." I told her that I thought it wasn't true at all. She responded by crying hysterically and asking me why I would say that. It turned out that it actually said, "I know I'm beautiful." FML
by Arran / 04/09/2011 at 8:24pm / United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her,… Today, I handed the keys to my Mustang to my mom so she could go car shopping. As she pulled away,… Today, I was on my girlfriend's computer. When searching on google, her browsing history popped up.…