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Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33216) - you deserved it (5968)
On 04/17/2011 at 11:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I started my first day of work at my new job. They had a section in the parking lot for employees only, so I parked there. Apparently, my boss didn't recognize my car, and had it towed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23677) - you deserved it (2095)
On 04/17/2011 at 7:18pm - work - by sdgsfvbkuhkj (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I got a postcard from my boyfriend who is on vacation in the Caribbean. He's breaking up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27945) - you deserved it (2644)
On 04/17/2011 at 5:12pm - love - by dumped (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)
Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42358) - you deserved it (5639)
On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30167) - you deserved it (4107)
On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24461) - you deserved it (2210)
On 04/17/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by wellhellothere (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36084) - you deserved it (6509)
On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my dog ate a $2,000 check. My credit card bill gets taken out of my bank account tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (7227)
On 04/16/2011 at 9:06pm - money - by TDCC (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19337) - you deserved it (8304)
On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (6362)
On 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by overflowing - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34890) - you deserved it (3291)
On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - love - by ColdHeat (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (2697)
On 04/16/2011 at 8:46am - misc - by inalotofpain (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38057) - you deserved it (13503)
On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (34365) - you deserved it (8680) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32616) - you deserved it (4966)
On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 20 May 2013
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