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matthewdb

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matthewdb

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 August 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2860
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.

matthewdb's page activity

Visits<b>kaz55</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:27pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 8:13pm<b>SkyBlueCloud</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 7:08am<b>princesspooky</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 12:18pm<b>starbucksguy</b> - the 05/17/2012 at 1:46am<b>romi2212</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 11:53pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/12/2012 at 10:20am<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 12:58am<b>agreatday</b> - the 10/28/2011 at 12:27am<b>Phoenix_Forever</b> - the 10/03/2011 at 11:15pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:24pm<b>Late_night83</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 11:56pm<b>Azucar2011</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 1:46am<b>venusmantrap</b> - the 08/10/2011 at 8:58am<b>xtraordinary</b> - the 08/07/2011 at 10:41pm<b>the_big_x</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 5:21am<b>CorinnaHEY</b> - the 06/11/2011 at 2:11pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 05/28/2011 at 12:02am

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matthewdb's favorite FMLs

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

#15828645
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39030) - you deserved it (7535)

On 04/17/2011 at 11:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I started my first day of work at my new job. They had a section in the parking lot for employees only, so I parked there. Apparently, my boss didn't recognize my car, and had it towed. FML

#15825152
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28922) - you deserved it (2719)

On 04/17/2011 at 7:18pm - work - by sdgsfvbkuhkj (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a postcard from my boyfriend who is on vacation in the Caribbean. He's breaking up with me. FML

#15824008
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33311) - you deserved it (3395)

On 04/17/2011 at 5:12pm - love - by dumped (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my husband and I were diagnosed with herpes. We've been together for five years and were both virgins before. Even the doctor couldn't give any other explanation. FML

#15820031
732 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48727) - you deserved it (6985)

On 04/17/2011 at 10:29am - health - by bumpyroad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a young boy helped me carry my groceries home. He then asked me to sign his sheet to certify that he had done half an hour of service to the elderly. I'm 46. FML

#15818561
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35884) - you deserved it (5293)

On 04/17/2011 at 5:32am - kids - by ::Tracy:: - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm. Not only was it 30 degrees outside, but I was in the shower. FML

#15817809
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (2899)

On 04/17/2011 at 3:25am - misc - by wellhellothere (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend compared my penis to an ewok from Star Wars. She says it's short, stubby, and fuzzy. Now she sings the Star Wars theme when we hang out. FML

#15817034
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42300) - you deserved it (8247)

On 04/17/2011 at 1:56am - intimacy - by rastafarimon (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dog ate a $2,000 check. My credit card bill gets taken out of my bank account tomorrow. FML

#15812903
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (9078)

On 04/16/2011 at 9:06pm - money - by TDCC (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year old boy, and an 19 month old girl. I was chasing them around the house having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change the 3 year old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

#15811934
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24718) - you deserved it (10202)

On 04/16/2011 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

#15811020
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28777) - you deserved it (7926)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by overflowing - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML

#15809243
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40541) - you deserved it (4167)

On 04/16/2011 at 3:18pm - love - by ColdHeat (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

#15805377
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27167) - you deserved it (3466)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:46am - misc - by inalotofpain (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after receiving the third call this week from teachers about my son falling asleep in class, I decided that it would be a good idea to hide his Xbox controllers. He decided it would be a good idea to hide my diabetes medication. FML

#15805325
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44828) - you deserved it (17694)

On 04/16/2011 at 8:35am - health - by bbedlock (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. This is the moment he chooses to exclaim, "Wow, you really do have a lot of dandruff!" FML

#15805096
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40165) - you deserved it (11354) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/16/2011 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Proprepourtant - France

Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML

#15804993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38791) - you deserved it (6341)

On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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