About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.
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matthewdb's favorite FMLs
by Forgetable / 04/21/2011 at 1:27am / United States (Colorado) / Work
by embarassed / 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm / United States / Health
by GshDrnt / 04/20/2011 at 10:57pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by doomed / 04/20/2011 at 10:45pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by sosadstudent / 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Miscellaneous
by Andrew / 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML
by ShakeRattleHiss / 04/20/2011 at 11:25am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML
by Anonymous / 04/20/2011 at 3:27am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Animals
Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Stupid / 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, I’m on vacation in Tunisia. Having trouble with the heat at night, I tried sleeping outside… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…