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matthewdb

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matthewdb

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 August 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3139
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.

matthewdb's page activity

Visits<b>kaz55</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:27pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 8:13pm<b>SkyBlueCloud</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 7:08am<b>princesspooky</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 12:18pm<b>starbucksguy</b> - the 05/17/2012 at 1:46am<b>romi2212</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 11:53pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/12/2012 at 10:20am<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 12:58am<b>agreatday</b> - the 10/28/2011 at 12:27am<b>Phoenix_Forever</b> - the 10/03/2011 at 11:15pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:24pm<b>Late_night83</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 11:56pm<b>Azucar2011</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 1:46am<b>venusmantrap</b> - the 08/10/2011 at 8:58am<b>xtraordinary</b> - the 08/07/2011 at 10:41pm<b>the_big_x</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 5:21am<b>CorinnaHEY</b> - the 06/11/2011 at 2:11pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 05/28/2011 at 12:02am

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matthewdb's favorite FMLs

Today, a coworker introduced herself to me and told me she hopes I enjoy my new job. We've worked in the same building for two years. I say hello every time I see her. FML

#15869233
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27904) - you deserved it (2581)

On 04/21/2011 at 1:27am - work - by Forgetable (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fell asleep at a party. I farted so loud that I woke myself up. Everyone heard. FML

#15867292
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29132) - you deserved it (11778)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:24pm - misc - by embarassed (woman) - United States

Today, I logged on to Facebook and had 64 notifications. I thought that perhaps I was popular. But no, it was my ten year old sister, liking 64 of my pictures. FML

#15866810
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28995) - you deserved it (5956)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:57pm - misc - by GshDrnt (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a letter from my mother-in-law stating that demons made her spread rumors about me all over my hometown before my wedding. FML

#15866600
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31382) - you deserved it (2120)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:45pm - misc - by doomed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I painted a kids room at my new nanny job while the dad "helped" by staring at my ass and telling me how hard it is to position your "junk" correctly when wearing a speedo. First day on the job. FML

#15865508
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37833) - you deserved it (3432)

On 04/20/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML

#15861693
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29944) - you deserved it (3913)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:52pm - misc - by sosadstudent (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44412) - you deserved it (10293)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29677) - you deserved it (4220)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33544) - you deserved it (3215)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33544) - you deserved it (3215)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19144) - you deserved it (29556)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40598) - you deserved it (5591)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

#15853054
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30419) - you deserved it (9648)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

#15852392
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32936) - you deserved it (16539)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

#15851636
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32300) - you deserved it (7664)

On 04/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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