About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.
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matthewdb's favorite FMLs
by Grrrr! / 04/23/2011 at 10:19am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
Today, my mother and girlfriend were joking around and talking about the embarrassing things I've done. After they'd had a lengthly conversation, my girlfriend mentions "And he always farts during sex." FML
by Sadman / 04/23/2011 at 4:37am / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, she tells me that the flab on my stomach does not turn her on, and stops in the middle of it. Therefore, until my diet is over, guess who doesn't get any. FML
Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML
by Anonymous / 04/21/2011 at 10:55pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Intimacy
Today, in order to avoid seeing my ex-girlfriend in class, I changed my schedule for "personal reasons." Apparently she had the same idea and changed her schedule as well. We now have all the same classes together. Before, we had just two. FML
by fatcat117 / 04/21/2011 at 9:53pm / United States (New Mexico) / Love
Today, at work, we've just hired a new load of people. As an icebreaker, we were paired up randomly and told to learn about our partner so that we can introduce them to the group. I got matched up with someone I've worked with for 4 months. Mid-conversation, I blurted out "I don't know your name." FML
by Clueless / 04/21/2011 at 7:49pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
by Username / 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/21/2011 at 9:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML
by alopez1994 / 04/21/2011 at 1:28am / Miscellaneous
- Today, it was my last day working at my company. The whole staff was summoned to a meeting, but I… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…