matthewdb

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matthewdb

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 August 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5330
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.

matthewdb's page activity

Visits<b>kaz55</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 11:27pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 8:13pm<b>SkyBlueCloud</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 7:08am<b>princesspooky</b> - the 01/02/2013 at 12:18pm<b>starbucksguy</b> - the 05/17/2012 at 1:46am<b>romi2212</b> - the 05/14/2012 at 11:53pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/12/2012 at 10:20am<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 12:58am<b>agreatday</b> - the 10/28/2011 at 12:27am<b>Phoenix_Forever</b> - the 10/03/2011 at 11:15pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:24pm<b>Late_night83</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 11:56pm<b>Azucar2011</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 1:46am<b>venusmantrap</b> - the 08/10/2011 at 8:58am<b>xtraordinary</b> - the 08/07/2011 at 10:41pm<b>the_big_x</b> - the 06/21/2011 at 5:21am<b>CorinnaHEY</b> - the 06/11/2011 at 2:11pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 05/28/2011 at 12:02am

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matthewdb's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

by Jade / 04/25/2011 at 9:49am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

by Danny / 04/25/2011 at 9:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

by Aginsafa / 04/25/2011 at 7:41am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

by neverdatingacopagain / 04/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

by electricpuddle / 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm / Animals

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

by nohair / 04/24/2011 at 10:06am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

by kyla / 04/24/2011 at 1:56am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

by Niquesha / 04/23/2011 at 7:56pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to climb over a tall gate. Getting to the top wasn't a problem, but falling face first on the way down wasn't what I'd had in mind. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Work

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

by purrykitty / 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

by parentof5 / 04/23/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

by nightDREAMERms / 04/23/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy