Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

matthewdb

Search for a member

matthewdb
  • Town/Country : Aiken
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 August 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 2572
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.

matthewdb's last visitors

tea_brewerprincesspookystarbucksguyromi2212lmc94rcbarnesFreezeLate_night83

matthewdb's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of matthewdb's badges

matthewdb's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML

#15917797
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47281) - you deserved it (8894)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:49am - love - by Jade (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

#15917525
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36854) - you deserved it (3773)

On 04/25/2011 at 9:07am - misc - by Danny -

Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML

#15917081
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31099) - you deserved it (3130)

On 04/25/2011 at 7:41am - work - by Aginsafa (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

#15914349
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (6025)

On 04/25/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by neverdatingacopagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28052) - you deserved it (3229)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, I shaved my head because I heard that one of my good friends got cancer. I went to visit her in the hospital. She's not bald. FML

#15907460
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18053) - you deserved it (52180)

On 04/24/2011 at 10:06am - health - by nohair (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

#15905908
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26023) - you deserved it (6520)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while shopping at American Eagle, I found the same "$1,500" wedding ring my fiancé proposed to me with, marked on sale for $10.95. FML

#15904630
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47195) - you deserved it (8575)

On 04/24/2011 at 1:56am - love - by kyla - United States (California)

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

#15901266
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9047) - you deserved it (37342)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

#15900752
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9906) - you deserved it (28476)

On 04/23/2011 at 7:56pm - misc - by Niquesha (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to climb over a tall gate. Getting to the top wasn't a problem, but falling face first on the way down wasn't what I'd had in mind. FML

#15899858
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20074) - you deserved it (9177)

On 04/23/2011 at 5:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML

#15899669
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27428) - you deserved it (5118)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

#15899408
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17684) - you deserved it (35115)

On 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm - intimacy - by purrykitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

#15896791
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29464) - you deserved it (21700)

On 04/23/2011 at 11:20am - kids - by parentof5 (man) - United States

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm the "lucky" type of woman who can experience intense orgasms in certain positions: in the middle of group yoga. FML

#15896670
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40999) - you deserved it (6671)

On 04/23/2011 at 10:55am - intimacy - by nightDREAMERms (woman) - United States (Maryland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: