About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.
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matthewdb's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML
by Jade / 04/25/2011 at 9:49am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love
Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML
by Aginsafa / 04/25/2011 at 7:41am / United States (California) / Work
by neverdatingacopagain / 04/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML
by electricpuddle / 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm / Animals
by nohair / 04/24/2011 at 10:06am / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals
by kyla / 04/24/2011 at 1:56am / United States (California) / Money
by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML
by Niquesha / 04/23/2011 at 7:56pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML
by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Work
by purrykitty / 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by parentof5 / 04/23/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Kids
by nightDREAMERms / 04/23/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
- Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on… Today, my girlfriend got up in the middle of sex saying, "You're taking too long, I'm gonna go make… Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding.…
- Today, I was complaining to a coworker about how my manager had changed my schedule without telling… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck… Today, While at a resort, my friends and I decided to go to the indoor pool. I was surprised when I…