About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.
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matthewdb's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in front of an entire street of people. We've only been dating for a week. One of the women in the crowd then called me heartless and threw a hamburger at me when I turned him down. FML
by Jade / 04/25/2011 at 9:49am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love
by Danny / 04/25/2011 at 9:07am / Miscellaneous
Today, at work my boss told me I have been late, under-productive, and using up a lot of sick days. He says my job is on the line. My reason for barely showing up at work: I've been on maternity leave for 6 weeks. FML
by Aginsafa / 04/25/2011 at 7:41am / United States (California) / Work
by neverdatingacopagain / 04/25/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Transportation
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML
by electricpuddle / 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm / Animals
by nohair / 04/24/2011 at 10:06am / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
by Anonymous / 04/24/2011 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals
by kyla / 04/24/2011 at 1:56am / United States (California) / Money
by bobo / 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML
by Niquesha / 04/23/2011 at 7:56pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 5:26pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked a coworker if she would cover for me on Easter because I want to spend it with my 3 year old daughter. She said no because she wants to spend Easter with her kids, too. She doesn't have kids. FML
by Anonymous / 04/23/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Work
by purrykitty / 04/23/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
by parentof5 / 04/23/2011 at 11:20am / United States / Kids
by nightDREAMERms / 04/23/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy