Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About matthewdb : Still waiting for break away pants to make a come back.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, I was awakened in the middle of the night by a frantic banging on my front door. It was a guy whom I'd only been dating a few weeks, with a suitcase. He stated that his wife kicked him out for having an affair, and thought now would be a good time to move in together. FML
Today, I got a letter back from the family I will be staying with as a part of an exchange program. Apparently they own a slaughterhouse type farm, and I'm expected to kill one of their animals and eat it as a gift from the family. I'm a vegan. FML
Today, while driving on the highway, I got stuck in a traffic jam. Upon glancing over at the car in the next lane, I saw it was my ex as of a week ago. We sat in barely moving traffic right next to each other for half an hour. FML
Today, I moved to Florida because I have poor circulation and need to be in a warm environment. The first day at my new job, I discovered my co-worker is an overweight man who wears a wool suit every day, and insists on keeping the office chilled to 65 degrees. I can't feel my fingers or toes. FML
Friday 3 July 2015