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matthewdb

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matthewdb
  • Town/Country : Aiken
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 August 1991 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 1897
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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matthewdb's favorite FMLs

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

#16666197
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6686) - you deserved it (36465)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

#16661334
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you deserved it (43838)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:57pm - money - by notinthebutt (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10628) - you deserved it (35851)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sword fighting in a play when I accidentally hit the other person in the head. He called me a bitch and stormed off stage, leaving me alone with an audience of 50. FML

#15985252
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (3550)

On 04/30/2011 at 12:25am - misc - by me - United States

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13859) - you deserved it (39622)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

#15976359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28146) - you deserved it (3996)

On 04/29/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Jims (man) - Singapore

Today, I thought I heard someone shifting around in my house. I froze in fear and then I heard it again. I thought I was hearing things until I realized that it wasn't an intruder in my home. The shifting noise was my thighs rubbing together when I walked. FML

#15974313
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11909) - you deserved it (31637)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:52am - misc - by Celluloid (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML

#15974140
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38544) - you deserved it (2563)

On 04/29/2011 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a little girl wandered into the glass-cleaning area of the pub I work at. It's a dangerous place for a little kid, so I took her hand and asked where her mum was. The kid starts screaming and the mother appears in the doorway shouting "GET AWAY FROM MY BABY!" FML

#15967561
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25052) - you deserved it (2276)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:13pm - work - by srsly_what (man) - United Kingdom (North Yorkshire)

Today, while my teacher was helping me with a problem, the gum he was chewing fell from his mouth and down my shirt. FML

#15964588
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35666) - you deserved it (3340)

On 04/28/2011 at 3:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, when I came home from work, my computer was drenched with water. My sister claimed there was smoke coming out of it. FML

#15964444
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (1737)

On 04/28/2011 at 3:29pm - misc - by Tokany (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

#15962941
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24200) - you deserved it (2863)

On 04/28/2011 at 12:51pm - health - by cnamobi - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39208) - you deserved it (4361)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

#15960842
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24263) - you deserved it (31164)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, my football coach thought it would be a good idea to get drunk, run to the other sideline, and scream, "WELCOME TO SPARTA, BITCH!" This would've been funny if he weren't also my dad. FML

#15960632
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29066) - you deserved it (2841)

On 04/28/2011 at 6:28am - misc - by spartanson -



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