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matt98

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matt98
  • Town/Country : California, United States of America
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 January 1998 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 435
  • Number of comments : 116
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About matt98 : FML is a place full of comedians. You either love em, or hate em. My names Matt, (obviously by my username).

I don't have any favorite user on here, I like everyone.
Oh and don't be a grammar Nazi. It's not cool.
I'm 14, and I can act mature for my age, but for the most part, I'm nice to everyone. :)
I'm kind of like a California boy. Laid back and cool once you get to know. So message me if ya want and I'll respond. :)

Welcome to FML, enjoy your stay. :)

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100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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matt98's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

#19039187
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21762) - you deserved it (4919)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Jarryd - Australia

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28949) - you deserved it (4754)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33744) - you deserved it (2569)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, I had to sit through 10 minutes of hearing a man on the tram tell his friend in explicit detail about all the filthy sex acts he'd like to do to me. His friend told him to take a photo to jack off to later. When I tried to tell the tram driver, he told me to "take it as a compliment." FML

#18851241
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32200) - you deserved it (3573)

On 01/19/2012 at 3:32am - intimacy - by missprude666 (woman) - Australia

Today, my teacher, who's Irish, called me insensitive and stupid for imitating her accent. I'm Filipino and my parents immigrated to Ireland where I was born, and then we moved to Canada when I was 14. Her response to my explanation? "Bullshit." FML

#18841081
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32213) - you deserved it (2350)

On 01/18/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by meh - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

#18825436
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25548) - you deserved it (8171)

On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

#18751726
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25707) - you deserved it (2754)

On 01/08/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by shades (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a friend told me over MSN that her father had died. Trying to express some solidarity, I went to send her a tearful smiley. I accidentally sent her the dancing pig animation instead. FML

#18644636
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16027) - you deserved it (24757) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/29/2011 at 2:32pm - misc - by Kevin - France

Today, I was at work as a cashier. An old lady unbagged everything I had, and angrily "taught" me how to bag. She put potatoes on her eggs and broke them. She then screamed that I was useless and retarded in front of all my other customers and manager. FML

#17925630
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30635) - you deserved it (1816)

On 10/07/2011 at 1:55am - work - by bdjsbskl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27013) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend sexted me for the first time in months. Half way through reading it I was getting kind of hot. Then I found a spelling mistake and all I could think to do was correct her. She won't talk to me. FML

#17525503
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9815) - you deserved it (66870)

On 08/20/2011 at 12:58am - intimacy - by KiDCuSHi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159399) - you deserved it (9657)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
496 comments

I agree, your life sucks (218285) - you deserved it (77978)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



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