About matt98 : FML is a place full of comedians. You either love em, or hate em. My names Matt, (obviously by my username).
I don't have any favorite user on here, I like everyone.
Oh and don't be a grammar Nazi. It's not cool.
I'm 14, and I can act mature for my age, but for the most part, I'm nice to everyone. :)
I'm kind of like a California boy. Laid back and cool once you get to know. So message me if ya want and I'll respond. :)
Welcome to FML, enjoy your stay. :)
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26503) - you deserved it (2770)
On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16093) - you deserved it (25769)
On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I was running on the treadmill at my local gym when I saw a girl I like a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15878) - you deserved it (2340)
On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States
Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (4172)
Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6315) - you deserved it (19468)
On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21902) - you deserved it (968)
On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband and I went to marriage counselling. I confessed something that was bothering me, but he didn't understand. Our counselor repeated word-for-word what I said right back at him. He turned to me angrily and shouted, "Why couldn't you just say that the first time?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18479) - you deserved it (1928)
On 10/21/2012 at 7:11pm - love - by madari (woman) - Spain (Andalucia)
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18622) - you deserved it (1270)
On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I got yelled at for providing horrible customer service, in a store I don't even work for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17851) - you deserved it (1290)
On 09/30/2012 at 1:32am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19773) - you deserved it (3399)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my husband and I are still having a dumb fight over remodeling. He's decided to take an immature route and pretends to be asleep whenever I walk into a room so he doesn't have to talk about it. Earlier, he pretended to fall asleep at the dinner table. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14648) - you deserved it (2448)
On 09/28/2012 at 2:09am - love - by unhappy wifey (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21843) - you deserved it (3393)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (1980)
On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12904) - you deserved it (2115)
Today, I realized just how messed up my life is, thanks to all the scare stories my wife sees on Dr Phil. She's now convinced that I'll start beating her someday. She's started taking martial arts classes, and threatens to use her skills every time I get even slightly frustrated with her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (1453)
On 08/19/2012 at 12:00pm - love - by yarhyun1 (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
