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matt692009

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matt692009

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 6 April 1984 (30 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 571
  • Number of comments : 59
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About matt692009 : (Y)

matt692009's page activity

Visits<b>Zaketh2112</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 1:19pm<b>sunnyan</b> - the 05/01/2011 at 9:53am<b>madeleinemai</b> - the 12/13/2010 at 6:47pm<b>newzealand</b> - the 12/12/2010 at 3:06am<b>YaLuckyGal</b> - the 11/19/2010 at 12:25pm

matt692009's FML badges

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matt692009's favorite FMLs

Today, I once again told my son he needed a job and a girlfriend because I simply could not keep him in my house anymore. He yelled, "No, I can do whatever I want!" Then went back to playing video games. He's 38. FML

#15960842
371 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28935) - you deserved it (41374)

On 04/28/2011 at 7:07am - kids - by oldmama728 -

Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML

#14459916
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30335) - you deserved it (8893)

On 01/04/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I went to meet the girl I'd been talking to online for a while, and fallen in love with. When I arrived at her house, my brother answered the door and took a picture of my shocked face. He and his girlfriend had planned the entire thing because I'm apparently the most gullible member of the family. FML

#14191848
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39115) - you deserved it (9390)

On 12/13/2010 at 3:29pm - love - by phonesage (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

#14043132
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58064) - you deserved it (10578)

On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I signed up to a Christian website in order to try and 'find God again'. I got banned. FML

#13982900
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15309) - you deserved it (23110)

On 11/26/2010 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me a magic trick. He filled a bowl with wine, pushed it on top of the ceiling using a broom stick, and held it up there. He told me to hold it and left. Taking my hands off the broomstick would cause the bowl to fall on my expensive new suit. Eventually, it did. FML

#13851970
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25609) - you deserved it (10987)

On 11/15/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy comes and sits next to me. Next thing I know, he lets out a loud fart, then looks my way with pride. I stare back in shock. He then says to me, "Yeah, that just happened," and walks off. FML

#13697892
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56021) - you deserved it (12084)

On 11/03/2010 at 3:27am - misc - by flying13 (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I found out that my 43 year old wife has been having a cyber relationship with a 14 year old kid on Halo. FML

#13589464
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40902) - you deserved it (4014)

On 10/25/2010 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a cute girl sat down next to me on the bus. She looked up at me, and then moved to the back. FML

#13262261
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28303) - you deserved it (3481)

On 09/30/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Ugh-Lee - United States

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11639) - you deserved it (43979)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40490) - you deserved it (140546)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor... and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

#278783
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52316) - you deserved it (98074)

On 03/11/2009 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by SpiderMan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59032) - you deserved it (2676)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)



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