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masterrbASIAN

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masterrbASIAN
  • Town/Country : las vegas, united states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 February 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 1073
  • Number of comments : 64
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About masterrbASIAN : pardon my swagg; but..i'm amazing & if you're shootin for the stars then just shoot me

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masterrbASIAN's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter was charged with multiple counts of vandalism and trespassing. It seems she's been sneaking out in the middle of the night, stealing and breaking our neighbors' lawn ornaments. Specifically garden gnomes. FML

#16837110
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22856) - you deserved it (6186)

On 06/24/2011 at 5:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML

#14120118
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11580) - you deserved it (79450)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML

#14115471
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (7718)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML

#14114880
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26442) - you deserved it (4541)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:25am - love - by 1fungi -

Today, it was my birthday. The only person that remembered was my creepy stalker. FML

#13906706
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26511) - you deserved it (2700)

On 11/20/2010 at 12:49am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad planted and "discovered" a pack of cigarettes in my backpack to distract my mom from his gambling problem. FML

#13638786
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34043) - you deserved it (1960)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:29pm - misc - by Ginna - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that since he's doing a project with a girl in his class and carpooling with her in the morning, she'll be sleeping over at his house. FML

#13459715
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32805) - you deserved it (4079)

On 10/15/2010 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML

#13426894
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5265) - you deserved it (57061)

On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from a four day trip. Apparently, my cat thought I was gone for good and is now very unhappy that I'm home. I know this because she has been positioning herself between me and my husband all night, and hisses every time I try to touch him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#13401139
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25930) - you deserved it (4361)

On 10/11/2010 at 12:34am - love - by JLD - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (13767)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (2940)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

#12822018
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37605) - you deserved it (14404)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by FYouBoyfriend (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to try something new and sign up for an online dating service, since I can't meet a decent guy in person. The first guy I talked to told me he used to be in a mental hospital for obsessing over a girl, then told me he would be dreaming of me that night. FML

#12807084
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28797) - you deserved it (7226)

On 08/29/2010 at 3:45pm - love - by CreepedOut (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend was talking with his friends about how long girls take to get ready (hair, make-up, etc.). I said, "I never spend a long time getting ready..." He then looked at me and said, "maybe you should." FML

#12803211
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26958) - you deserved it (6672)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:14am - love - by ILoveFML - United States (New York)



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