mastercrammer

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mastercrammer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 52879
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mastercrammer's page activity

Visits<b>bradoiler</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:53pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:28pm<b>marzeg</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 12:25pm<b>silvermoon5033</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 3:18am<b>ImReallyBatman</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 12:02am<b>Hero2457</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:27pm<b>Triplehinge</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:07pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:18pm<b>questionableee</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:08pm<b>StraightKing</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Gleadr</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:15am<b>austin13125</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:24pm<b>slippy327</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:34pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 4:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:12am<b>sotopathe</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:19pm<b>pandasaresocute</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 3:37pm<b>enter______name</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 2:26pm

mastercrammer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mastercrammer's favorite FMLs

Today, I couldn't answer almost any of the questions in the game "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader?" I'm a 40 year old man. FML

by laywer_man / 03/07/2009 at 1:43am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to visit my Grandmother, accidentally leaving my phone home during the weekend. When I got back I had 2 texts from my crush. One saying "I want to take the most beautiful girl to prom, go with me?" and the other saying, "Fine fattie, I'll ask someone else." FML

by promdump / 03/06/2009 at 9:55pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I flew home early from a two month trip to Europe to surprise my boyfriend on his birthday. When I got to his house with a home baked cake from scratch and a quilt with slik-screened pictures from my trip, his roommate answered the door and said "Oh sorry, he's out with his girlfriend." FML

by Muscle / 03/06/2009 at 4:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. FML

by SadDad / 03/05/2009 at 8:51pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was dumped by my boyfriend of almost a year because he was no longer sexually attracted to me because I'm "overweight," even though I only weigh 130 pounds. Afterward I went to my friend's house and sat in an old wooden chair. It broke into pieces as soon as I sat down. FML

by saltinawound / 03/05/2009 at 1:38am / United States (Louisiana) / Love

Today, I was at a party and we were all playing Seven Minutes in Heaven. It was my crush's turn to spin the bottle so my heart started pounding. The bottle pointed towards me! Then my crush said, "With her it'd be 'Seven Minutes in Hell'. Just skip me." FML

by ILTali / 03/03/2009 at 6:00pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, my very religious grandmother walked in on me masturbating. She's sending me to bible camp. FML

by camp / 03/03/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I found an email he had written to an ex-fling telling her he was single and wanted to meet up. He wrote that email from my computer, in my apartment, on Valentine's Day. FML

by JTo / 03/03/2009 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

by joAnne / 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

by Fat Dad / 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML

by ohmygoodness / 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and says "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

by ak / 03/02/2009 at 4:26pm / United States (Alaska) / Love

Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

by E / 03/02/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend, whom I was madly in love with, by having a plane fly over her house spelling "Marry me Abby?". After seeing this, she locked herself in her room and cried for 4 hours exclaiming that this wasn't how she wanted to be proposed to. I had invited my entire family. FML

by groomfail / 03/01/2009 at 8:41pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Love

Today, I was babysitting this one year old. She just learned how to say yes so if you asked her ANYTHING, she'd say yes. I asked her if she liked vegetables and she said "yes!" Then I asked her if I was pretty... she looked at me and said "NO." FML

by hi / 03/01/2009 at 3:29pm / United States (New York) / Kids