mastercrammer

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mastercrammer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 52711
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mastercrammer's page activity

Visits<b>bradoiler</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:53pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:28pm<b>marzeg</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 12:25pm<b>silvermoon5033</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 3:18am<b>ImReallyBatman</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 12:02am<b>Hero2457</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:27pm<b>Triplehinge</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:07pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:18pm<b>questionableee</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:08pm<b>StraightKing</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Gleadr</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:15am<b>austin13125</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:24pm<b>slippy327</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:34pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 4:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:12am<b>sotopathe</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:19pm<b>pandasaresocute</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 3:37pm<b>enter______name</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 2:26pm

mastercrammer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mastercrammer's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

by princess / 03/17/2009 at 1:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, after work I went to the parking lot to my car to go home. I found my car doors heavily scratched and all my tires cut, with a note on my windshield. The note read, "F*** you, Jackson." I'm Tyler. Jackson is my co-worker. FML

by Dansonn / 03/16/2009 at 11:17pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was with my grandma waiting in a line. She only speaks Chinese and there was a black man in front of us talking his phone. My grandma tells me that the black man's really loud and annoying. The man finishes and turns and said fluently in Chinese, "What's wrong with loud black men?" FML

by kaichennnxx / 03/16/2009 at 10:09pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

by paymeinhugs / 03/16/2009 at 9:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

by ihatevideos / 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, is my 16th birthday. Thinking that my parents would be out of town for it like they had every other year, I decided it would be fun to tan nude in my backyard. Apparantly my parents set up a surprise party for my sweet 16. I was standing naked infront of half my school. FML

by badbirthday / 03/16/2009 at 4:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML

by Noname / 03/16/2009 at 4:41pm / United States / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

by gfg / 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, I had a meeting with my super-hot TA. When I got to her office, she complimented me for being early, to which I thoughtfully replied "oh I usually come early." She laughed. FML

by SmoothTalker / 03/16/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

by asleepinclass / 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm / Poland (Warszawa) / Intimacy

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

by gentileman / 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

by textraped / 03/16/2009 at 1:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

by whatdoyoudo / 03/16/2009 at 12:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had one of the worst panic attacks in years. I was worried nobody cared about me and that I had completely messed up my life. I was hyperventilating and crying hysterically. My mom walked by my room, looked at me, and said, "If you're going to make those noises, at least shut the door." FML

by Screwed / 03/15/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was fooling around with my girlfriend for the first time. She put her hand on my penis over my jeans and said "Get hard for me." I was hard. FML

by illequipt / 03/15/2009 at 11:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy