mastercrammer

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mastercrammer

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 November 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 53095
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mastercrammer's page activity

Visits<b>bradoiler</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:53pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 11:28pm<b>marzeg</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 12:25pm<b>silvermoon5033</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 3:18am<b>ImReallyBatman</b> - the 09/30/2015 at 12:02am<b>Hero2457</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:27pm<b>Triplehinge</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:07pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:18pm<b>questionableee</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:08pm<b>StraightKing</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Gleadr</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 2:15am<b>austin13125</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 5:24pm<b>slippy327</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 2:34pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 4:50pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:12am<b>sotopathe</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 5:19pm<b>pandasaresocute</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 3:37pm<b>enter______name</b> - the 01/05/2015 at 2:26pm

mastercrammer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mastercrammer's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

by Anonymous / 03/24/2009 at 6:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I had an excellent conversation with this guy I met on a gay dating site. We really hit it off well and had a lot in common. We got to the point where he asked me for my picture. I showed it to him and he stopped responding. FML

by Kuu / 03/24/2009 at 1:46am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

by proudestmonkey / 03/24/2009 at 1:44am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

by Anonymous / 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

by unloved / 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

by Noca / 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

by caughtontape / 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was on the bus going to formal for my sorority. I was sitting in the 5th row of the bus when I felt raindrops on my face coming through the open window. I then realized it wasn't raining, but the girl in the 1st row was throwing up out her window and it was coming back in through my window. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 6:40pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

by ThanksMa / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2009 at 9:04am / Malta / Intimacy

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

by konens_dick / 03/22/2009 at 6:38am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML

by TANT / 03/22/2009 at 12:53am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

by joshinbaltimore / 03/22/2009 at 12:15am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm / United States (Texas) / Kids