Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mastercrammer

Search for a member

mastercrammer

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 November 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 51168
  • Number of comments : 32
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mastercrammer's page activity

Visits<b>tommyresnick</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 1:42am<b>Jumbabaginji</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:41pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:39am<b>julian0605</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Shabba_13</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 3:11pm<b>thisguyyyy</b> - the 03/20/2014 at 12:42pm<b>yyoliin</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 9:59am<b>domagama</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 11:20pm<b>charizard908</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 4:38pm<b>AfroNinja6810</b> - the 08/08/2013 at 11:23pm<b>j_729</b> - the 06/20/2013 at 12:09am<b>drjohnnyboy</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 1:40pm<b>LittleFluffy</b> - the 02/20/2013 at 3:45pm<b>LORENA21</b> - the 09/06/2009 at 5:25pm<b>kjm1001</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 9:59am<b>erichugh22</b> - the 05/14/2009 at 8:06pm<b>sluttywhore69</b> - the 05/12/2009 at 10:36pm<b>bigmad50</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 7:18pm

mastercrammer's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mastercrammer's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

#572670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79037) - you deserved it (8838)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had an excellent conversation with this guy I met on a gay dating site. We really hit it off well and had a lot in common. We got to the point where he asked me for my picture. I showed it to him and he stopped responding. FML

Today, I had my car stolen. When the police found it, pretty much everything inside was missing. For some reason, I had left 6 pairs of shoes in my back seat. Whoever stole my car thought it would be funny to take one shoe from each pair. I now own 6 unmatched shoes and my car smells like sex. FML

#570871
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84128) - you deserved it (5725)

On 03/24/2009 at 1:44am - intimacy - by proudestmonkey (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97777) - you deserved it (30255)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84272) - you deserved it (31478)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my parents told me they were going out for dinner tonight. I jokingly responded "Sweet! I am totally having a keg party then!" My dad responded "Keg parties are only for kids who have friends." He was serious. FML

#553334
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70268) - you deserved it (7800)

On 03/23/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by unloved (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML

#539856
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65471) - you deserved it (31492)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:02pm - kids - by Noca (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

#537010
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85956) - you deserved it (18740)

On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

#532977
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61913) - you deserved it (13068)

On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - love - by ThanksMa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (173545) - you deserved it (30346)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
520 comments

I agree, your life sucks (241939) - you deserved it (32156)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71568) - you deserved it (23285)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my little 7 year old brother asked me what horny meant whilst in the car with my parents. When I wouldn't tell him what it meant he screamed, "I'm getting horny!" at the top of his lungs, and told my parents that I told him to say it. FML

#525590
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61145) - you deserved it (6533)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: