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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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master565

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master565
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2687
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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master565's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (22523) - you deserved it (1811)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

#6377281 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (33447) - you deserved it (4928)

On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML

#6299927 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (5498) - you deserved it (17605)

On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

#6256423 (59)

I agree, your life sucks (22422) - you deserved it (1911)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after a trip to my doctor I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year old guy. FML

#6200798 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (26894) - you deserved it (1200)

On 11/07/2009 at 7:38pm - health - by oldlady (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML

#5293926 (141)

I agree, your life sucks (31097) - you deserved it (3187)

On 09/16/2009 at 3:58pm - misc - by jaskyriddims (man) - Dominica (Saint George)

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter followed by embarrassment. FML

#5003582 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (15059) - you deserved it (21610)

On 09/02/2009 at 6:17pm - misc - by Math_Rocker (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to the doctor about my bruised runners toes. She was inexperienced when It came to athletic injuries, so she googled my condition. I just paid to have her tell me exactly what I had already just googled before I left for my appointment. FML

#4879906 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (32647) - you deserved it (3025)

On 08/28/2009 at 9:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was very sick and kept throwing up. I took a shower after every time I threw up. While in the shower after I threw up, I had to throw up again, so I got out and ran to the toilet. I slipped on the tile, broke my nose on the floor, and then threw up. FML

#4543723 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (42686) - you deserved it (7066)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:51am - health - by Ouch (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

#4376703 (56)

I agree, your life sucks (7687) - you deserved it (28675)

On 08/08/2009 at 1:04am - work - by ilikemusicokay (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boss asked me to call his new phone to make sure it's working. When his phone didn't ring, he looked at my phone to confirm I called him. My boss then saw that I'd entered him into my phonebook as "douche bag". FML

#4105054 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (8223) - you deserved it (53297)

On 07/28/2009 at 11:23am - work - by dotcomboy - United States

Today, my husband and I got a new stainless steel microwave. When we took it out of the package we noticed it was blue and got angry. We were about to return it, but we called in our 12 year old daughter to see what she thought of the microwave. She then took off the blue protective plastic. FML

#4026521 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (5118) - you deserved it (56729)

On 07/25/2009 at 7:30am - kids - by BlueBaby123 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

#3910940 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (29092) - you deserved it (5255)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by fattie4life (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really hit it off with. Then he admitted that he was a recovering heroin addict and had to cut our date short to go to the methadone clinic. When I got home, I realized that my wallet was missing $40. I think he lied about the "recovering" part. FML

#3689425 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (3238)

On 07/12/2009 at 9:29am - love - by vividrabbit (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

#3684886 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (36011) - you deserved it (14145)

On 07/12/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by i.ask.you.how. (woman) - United States (Illinois)