About mashimashi : My cat's breath smells like cat food.
Perfectionist
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45361) - you deserved it (4596)
On 03/18/2010 at 11:22am - health - by human torch - United States
Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9206) - you deserved it (20493)
On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I dressed up, went over to my boyfriend and told him he could do anything he wanted. He said nothing and walked outside. I figured he'd come back in shortly, but when I looked out the window a few minutes later, he was building a snowman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (8303)
On 01/09/2010 at 4:20pm - love - by dollybabe (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38499) - you deserved it (2230)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, at work we were gathered to be told some bad news. One of our colleagues would be taking indefinite leave because his wife had dropped their newborn baby. I accidentally laughed at the image. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10053) - you deserved it (42211)
On 10/28/2009 at 6:29pm - work - by R (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47197) - you deserved it (23947)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56413) - you deserved it (3656)
On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)
Today, I finally found out that someone had stolen my debit card and maxed it out. The good news? Whoever it was forgot to change the address on the card, so everything they bought online has been shipped to me. The bad news? I've received 16 snuggies so far, and I'm still counting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37123) - you deserved it (2814)
On 09/28/2009 at 4:36pm - money - by SnuggieOverload (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9700) - you deserved it (36969)
On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54598) - you deserved it (12512)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I posted a status update on Facebook about how much I liked the Season Finale of NBC's "Heroes". My hand slipped to the right and it came out as "I really love Herpes. It's much better than everyone says it is". I didn't notice for few hours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17707) - you deserved it (29395)
On 08/24/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by NotThatKind (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (11196) - you deserved it (35971)
On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, while teaching swim lessons, a boy was holding a noodle and claimed it was his fishing rod. Trying to be fun, I grabbed on and told him to "reel" me in. He then yells out 'YAY, I caught a whale!'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36505) - you deserved it (8819)
On 08/12/2009 at 1:02pm - kids - by guard35 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to buy a cake for my daughter's birthday. She really loves Twilight, so I decided to get her a vampire-related cake. I wrote down "fangs" as a decoration. The baker thought it said "wangs". My 10 year old daughter's cake has wangs all over it. Her party is tomorrow morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35842) - you deserved it (6633)
On 08/08/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by TheCake - United States (Florida)
Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29353) - you deserved it (19187)
On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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