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mas1794

Offline (the 07/17/2015 at 2:23am) | Search for a member

mas1794

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 544
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mas1794 : Hi I'm Madison, I enjoy spending my free time reading and cooking. I plan on working in the medical field. I love dogs.

mas1794's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:20pm<b>punisher316</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 9:47pm<b>larson15</b> - the 06/07/2013 at 3:25pm<b>waffule365</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 12:26am<b>efelsh</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 4:09pm<b>c4rpi0</b> - the 04/28/2013 at 12:36am<b>treygalloway</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 4:31pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 12:05pm<b>luebbe</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 12:00am<b>Red_Lego</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 11:45pm<b>texashater75</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 12:09pm<b>bethers_</b> - the 04/26/2013 at 11:09am

mas1794's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of mas1794's badges

mas1794's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24327) - you deserved it (4293)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33215) - you deserved it (2322)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my wife was in seemingly never-ending labor. It got so bad, I overheard a nurse in the doorway mutter to a coworker that she hoped my baby would just die or something, so she could finally go take a smoke break. FML

#21439756
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (1699)

On 07/10/2015 at 9:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

#21289746
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35101) - you deserved it (4736)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34636) - you deserved it (6863)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31513) - you deserved it (2629)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26491) - you deserved it (34690)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML

#20996935
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42837) - you deserved it (16103)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Rob (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42125) - you deserved it (5225)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I went to school without any makeup on. The guys who usually compliment me for being pretty are now calling me "The Greatest Illusion Ever". FML

#20936906
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45552) - you deserved it (20167)

On 10/28/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by The greatest Illusion ever (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29007) - you deserved it (42896)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, I reminded my husband that I was on my period, so he wouldn't try to fool around with me. A few hours later, his goldfish-like memory kicked in and he stuck his hand down my pants while we were going to bed. I was wearing a maxi pad. FML

#20935542
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57662) - you deserved it (5516)

On 10/27/2013 at 11:26am - intimacy - by SharkWeek (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

#20926236
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46117) - you deserved it (5079)

On 10/19/2013 at 11:04am - misc - by sleepysophie (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (40632)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83311) - you deserved it (7608)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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