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Today, I was the paramedic at the scene of a car accident. One lady was hurt, and we had trouble getting any information from her as she was sobbing. I radioed in the details and said "...a lady in her mid 30's, ETA 10 minutes." She stopped crying, slapped me, and said, "I'm 28." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18742) - you totally deserved it (1634)
On 11/17/2009 at 6:16am - work - by Paramedic (man) - United Kingdom (Rochdale)
Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you totally deserved it (1083)
On 10/26/2009 at 12:24pm - health - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)
Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21676) - you totally deserved it (3771)
On 10/24/2009 at 2:27pm - misc - by marz88 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9584) - you totally deserved it (41360)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42018) - you totally deserved it (2223)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14043) - you totally deserved it (36190)
On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was getting mugged. In shock, I said, "Are you mugging me?!" To which the mugger responded, "Duh, do you think I grabbed you for your looks?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33895) - you totally deserved it (4230)
On 08/04/2009 at 2:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML
I agree, your life sucks (29724) - you totally deserved it (10571)
On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10842) - you totally deserved it (30118)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, after 9 months in our relationship, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. We had incredible, mind-blowing sex. An hour later, he broke up with me because apparently "my orgasm face is ugly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (50546) - you totally deserved it (5351)
On 07/25/2009 at 2:50pm - intimacy - by misopower (woman) - China (Henan)
Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44135) - you totally deserved it (1901)
On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54947) - you totally deserved it (3465)
On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42940) - you totally deserved it (1791)
On 07/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I had to take a leak, so I went into a porta-john. I noticed another man's hand under the door with a cell phone. Angered, I aimed my stream at his hand and phone. He tilted the porta-john over in response. It was full. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31738) - you totally deserved it (12718)
On 07/02/2009 at 12:13am - misc - by S4L - France (Nord-Pas-de-Calais)
Today, I spent the whole day seeing how many licks it would take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop: 763. I'm 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you totally deserved it (12139)
On 05/23/2009 at 12:15pm - misc - by Tootsy_Roll_Pop (man) - United States
