marysemizanin

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marysemizanin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 July 1985 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 193
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About marysemizanin : I have a BAD case of bad luck. I get hurt a lot.

marysemizanin's page activity

Visits<b>Tvolsfan325</b> - the 11/10/2012 at 12:31pm

marysemizanin's FML badges

Mobility

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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marysemizanin's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML

by notattractiveatall / 10/15/2012 at 6:09pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

by 3023-dang / 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

by blabbermouth / 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Intimacy

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

by unlucky / 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML

by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Love

Today, I was really impressed with the man I've been in a relationship with for over 2 years. He had finally really cleaned his apartment. Everything was washed and fixed, even my stuff was cleared from open surfaces. All so his lover would not find out about me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 2:29am / Norway (Oslo) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

by MB101 / 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm / United States / Love

Today, at work, I saw a van in our car park with "Hurlz Wagon" painted on its side. Laughing, I told the customer who owned it that I loved the name, and I asked was there a funny vomit story behind it. She didn't laugh, and told me it was her family name. FML

by big mouth / 09/26/2012 at 7:40am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Work

Today, my boyfriend's mother screamed at me for half an hour, calling me a slut because she found a black lacy thong in my boyfriend's bed. I didn't have the heart to tell her it wasn't mine. FML

by slut / 07/01/2010 at 9:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, we were visiting my great-grandma, who has Alzheimer’s. We spent most of the day with her and she didn't know who we all were. Time came for us to leave so when I gave her a hug good-bye, she whispered into my ear, "You're my type." FML

by KarlwithaK / 05/18/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Love