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martini47

Offline (the 11/07/2014 at 4:47pm) | Search for a member

martini47

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 2 December 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 420
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About martini47 : I love reading these FMLs when I'm bored they just make my day!

martini47's page activity

Visits<b>ionab101</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 8:11pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 6:12am<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 3:10am<b>GFerrari1010</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:20am<b>xxembabexx</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 8:58pm<b>andiesaur</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:44pm<b>kamar50</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 4:22pm<b>Larissa24</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 3:26pm<b>bellles</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 1:45pm<b>Brenda37</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:42am<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 2:48pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 9:16pm<b>shoopd</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:20am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:49pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:59pm<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 08/19/2014 at 11:47pm<b>Dillyduzit</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:35am<b>SandyBella</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 6:29pm

Liked!<b>andiesaur</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 12:32am

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martini47's favorite FMLs

Today, after my roommate decided to become a vegetarian, her new food choices are making her pass deadly, nauseating gas all night. We have a busted window that won't open. I'm afraid I may not live to see tomorrow morning. FML

#18467127
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (2202)

On 12/09/2011 at 7:23am - misc - by pinkleopleurodon - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

#17334283
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11706) - you deserved it (65557)

On 08/01/2011 at 5:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18273) - you deserved it (34322)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

#17182524
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34185) - you deserved it (7156)

On 07/19/2011 at 9:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
470 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54703) - you deserved it (9325)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20303) - you deserved it (52345)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

#17080358
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38254) - you deserved it (21784)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:09pm - misc - by couldntholdit (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to school in my brand new shirt. It was loose fitting and a bit thin, so I wore a sweatshirt on top, intending to take it in once inside. When I got to my seat, I took off my sweatshirt, but also took off my shirt with it, flashing my whole class. FML

#13889988
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26455) - you deserved it (10381)

On 11/18/2010 at 6:12pm - misc - by Amanda Ross - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching a video about spiders. When I felt a tickle on my foot, I kicked hard in panic. It was one of our newborn kittens walking. I almost killed it. FML

#12750103
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13810) - you deserved it (49638)

On 08/26/2010 at 1:33am - animals - by Aaron (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to bed with three hot, half-naked girls beneath me. I was in the bunk above. Alone. FML

#12143188
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34715) - you deserved it (15233)

On 07/27/2010 at 10:43am - intimacy - by lonelyguy321 - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I sneezed with so much force while I was driving that I whacked my head on the steering wheel and honked the horn. FML

#7268268
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23622) - you deserved it (4047)

On 01/10/2010 at 10:37pm - misc - by Hayley (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex. Over breakfast, she said it was the most intense, primal and mind-blowing sexual experience she ever had. Problem is, I don't remember a damned thing. FML

#2602287
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65859) - you deserved it (9311)

On 06/04/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML

#1656841
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (165556) - you deserved it (12325)

On 05/05/2009 at 8:22am - money - by Fitz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (271869) - you deserved it (17609)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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